The Financial Confessions: “I Won’t Date A Man Who Makes Less Than Six Figures”


Last year, I broke up with my boyfriend of four years. He was the guy I thought I was going to marry, and given that I was on the later side of my 20s than the earlier, so did almost everyone else. But we broke up because we were on extremely different paths in life, no matter how much we loved each other, and his new path involved moving to Denmark for grad school. Since I have no intention of ever living in a Nordic country, and did not want to try the two-plus-year long-distance relationship that he initially suggested, I decided to end the relationship. It was a pretty terrible time in my life, and for a long time, I tried to guilt him into staying with me in New York (something I’m not proud of). But eventually I realized that, even if I succeeded in getting him to not accept the grant and do that program, he would resent me possibly for the rest of his life for missing out on that. And that was much worse than the thought of just breaking up. So we ended the relationship and now, at nearly 28 years old, I’m a single New Yorker again.

One thing that I resolved to myself, when I finally started testing the waters of the dating pool that I had left for four years, was that I was only going to date men who made a certain amount of money. The convenient number I came up with was six figures, but of course I’m willing to bend on that a little if needed. But the point is that the person I am with should make, generally, about twice what I do. After three years in publishing, I am making just over $50,000 per year, which is actually quite competitive for what I do, if you can believe it. But between my undergrad and grad degrees, I am also paying $750 a month in student loan repayment (even though I was very frugal about the loans I took out, and do not regret either of my degrees). So my life is pretty “minimalist,” and not in the chic, Marie Kondo way. I’m just pretty broke all the time, even with the catering jobs I do whenever I get the chance.

After my boyfriend and I broke up and he moved away, we left our rent-controlled junior one-bedroom in Queens, which we split for $650 each, and I had to find my own place. I now live in a three-bedroom in Brooklyn with three other girls, and I pay almost $300 more to do it. I’m constantly trying to make ends meet, and have had to borrow money from my parents more times than I’d like to admit. But part of the reason I’m in such a sucky financial situation is because, during my entire relationship with my ex, I was able to save a grand total of $1,000. Part of this was because I was still in grad school or unemployed during part of it, but part of it was because he barely made any money, and when I was earning my entry-level salary, his cobbled-together income from part-time jobs often needed me to supplement it. We lived on credit cards many months, and for all the holidays we celebrated together, only one Christmas were we able to get each other “real” gifts. We were constantly broke, but deeply in love, and even though I probably would have married him if he hadn’t moved, looking back I can’t believe I lived that way for so long.

We were constantly fighting over money-related things, and I basically watched as most of my money-related dreams evaporated in front of me. Having a robust savings account and investments? Poof. Owning property in New York? Poof. Being able to afford children here? Poof, poof, poof.

But I told myself that you don’t always choose the person you love, and if our life had to be radically different than I’d hoped it would be, that was fine. But now that I’m on my own again and starting a relationship from zero, I know exactly what it would take for those dreams to be realistic, and the guy I’m with would have to earn about that much money. This isn’t a question of me wanting to be floated by someone — I will always have my job, and do everything I can to contribute as much as I can. It’s a question of “If I am single, that’s fine, too. But if I choose to be with someone, that person should be able to be a part of the life I want for my partner and I.” And that life has a lot of things that cost money, such as having children. While I have the time to be choosy, and am not yet in love with anyone, I want to be sure that I’m not choosing someone whose finances will be a constant source of strain. There are enough problems in life, I don’t want to add financial ones to them — and comfort is probably the biggest aid to any relationship, ever. If you are not worried about basic things, you are able to be much happier and more balanced overall. My ex and I were a near-perfect match in terms of personality, but even then, our money problems were constantly causing strain.

I know that a lot of people would judge me if they knew about my “rule,” but I don’t care. I know what I want in life, and I want to be able to move into a reasonable one-bedroom apartment in the city I love with my future partner. And that requires money, like it or not. I’m confident that there is someone out there whom I will love deeply and passionately, and who will also be capable of affording these things in a way my ex was not. I bring a lot to a relationship: I’m an excellent cook, keep a beautiful home, am a wonderful hostess, am well-read and funny (if I do say so myself), and have a passion for my career, too. But I will never be independently rich. And if someone can bring that financial stability to my life, they are a good match.

The next guy I love, I want to be the guy I marry. And I don’t want to marry someone I’m going to struggle with. If I am going to struggle, I’d rather do it alone.



Image via Pexels

  • Erin Williams

    Have you considered setting some salary-related goals for yourself? Because as much as you defend yourself, it still sounds like you expect this hypothetical guy to float you. Because that’s exactly what expecting a partner to make twice what you do so that you can have the life you envision for yourself is.
    Either that or you’re subconsciously setting yourself up for romantic failure by using this as a way to hold anyone truly compatible at arms length. That would be more forgivable—we’ve all gone through that phase.

    • Right? and I find it interesting that (unless I missed something) she’s only interested in someone who makes 6 figures *currently* rather than someone who’s on track to once they get more experience and a few promotions. There can’t be that many 30ish-year-olds who make six figures, right? how many at 35? 40?

      • Maria Nunez

        It depends on what city you live in. I know quite a few people under 30 in NYC that make 6 figures.


        I’m 29 in Philadelphia making $100k (tech).

        I’m engaged to someone who is only making $30k, and yes it is something that really bothers me. I feel like i may be prematurely missing out on a life that most people don’t have the opportunity to live.

        • 2pacck

          Get out of that relationship! You’ve been warned. She is NOT your equal!

  • Sindhoo

    Wow, this is an interesting perspective. I definitely admire your honesty, but dang girl, if that’s what you want, why don’t you go out and make six figures? Oh yeah, because it’s hard to do that and also probably soul ruining. I know for a fact that the pickings are slim if you’re looking for a quality guy who’s making that much money even in his late 20s…may be tough to find a husband if you’re going to limit yourself to such a small and potentially unpleasant pool.

    • alyjarrett

      It really depends on the market, because I live in the SF Bay Area and there are a TON of people making six figures, including myself. It’s what we need to earn in order to survive the outrageous cost of living; it has nothing to do with our “pleasantness.” My job isn’t soul-ruining either. I’m fortunate this our market is on fire right now, but I wouldn’t call myself wealthy in my area by any means.

      • Sindhoo

        I also make six-figures, as does my fiancé–definitely didn’t mean it as a blanket statement to apply to everyone! It’s probably because we are both attorneys but I feel like we are very much the exception to the rule. But to be fair, I think even San Francisco/Bay Area (I grew up there) can be a risk…didn’t the “tech bro” stereotype come from there?

        I just meant that there’s so, so much more to a life partner than his or her income. Look, it’s totally normal to be attracted to someone who’s driven, has their shit together, and intelligent, but those three highly desirable qualities should not be conflated with a six-figure income.

        Also I feel like when people start making that much when they are below thirty/don’t have a family to support, it *really* goes to their head. They start deriving a lot of their personality/ego from their income bracket, thinking that they deserve it because they worked harder than people without that kind of salary. In my case at least, I know that’s not true (and I have to remind myself of that…a lot). So my point was that the author here is going to have a tough time finding a quality life partner by narrowing their vision to that pool of candidates.

        • alyjarrett

          Ok now I understand your argument better, and you’re absolutely right! When people make high salaries at a young age, you’re going to be confronted with arrogance. I can attest to the “tech bro” or “brogrammer” mentality, and yes, that level of ego is not at all desirable in a life partner!

        • Maria Nunez

          I agree with you. It doesn’t make sense to expect something out of someone when you aren’t capable of doing it yourself.

  • CLo

    You should focus on getting yourself independently rich first. Having a partner that makes equal contribution is a good goal to have, but you shouldn’t rely on someone else. Living in NYC will always be a struggle because the rent will continually go up, married or not.

  • GBee

    You can be financially secure and make less than 100k. You can make over 100k and still have debt and/or no savings.

    • alyjarrett

      So true! I’d much rather date someone frugal who was debt-free and had a good career track than someone who was only rich on the surface but spent every penny.

      • Erin Williams

        Completely this. I think the approach to money is so much more important than how much they happen to make at this moment in time. I’d rather know that my partner is responsible and will make good choices no matter what circumstances we happen to be in job-wise.

  • alyjarrett

    As a woman who makes six figures, go make your own damn money. A man is not a financial plan!

    That being said, the Financial Samurai had an excellent article on nabbing a rich husband:

    Better read up, because digging for gold is harder than it looks! 😉

    • Maria Nunez

      I totally agree with you!

  • As someone who makes 6 figures, I see nothing wrong with your decision. You are saving, paying off debt and living in NYC for 50k a year so although you are not a top earner, you have some valuable skills that every family needs. Struggling is not fun, and I think you are well within your right to decide what you want for your life and be bold enough to go after it.

  • Maria Nunez

    Why would anyone who makes 6 figures want to date someone that makes less? Even if you’re the woman in the relationship you’re reaching if you think that a guy would want to date someone that makes half of what they do. Also if you decide to split the bills evenly you still won’t be making enough money to sustain the type of lifestyle you want. I would start finding ways to make 6 figures in order to attract what you want.

    • Sinead Precious

      Men who are millionaire actually would actually prefer to date a women who makes less than them. There is many article on this topic:

      Why would anyone who makes 6 figures want to date someone that makes less?’ Because they already have money, they are not looking for someone who has money.

      If a person has already got a home and other necessity, they are looking for someone who can give them something that they don’t have. They would choose a partner who is attractive, smart, stress free. Who brings love, dedication, a companionship and a family.

      A women wanting a man that makes 6 figures is a smart women. 50% of marriages fail, the number one reason is money, so to not consider money when choosing a partner is actually stupid. The reality of life is that we as adult have to pay for rent, bills, clothes, food, children clothes etc…

      We can actually choose who we fall in love with. Money is important among other things, such as is the man caring, loving, a good person etc. Marry for money alone is stupid.

  • “I bring a lot to a relationship: I’m an excellent cook, keep a beautiful home, am a wonderful hostess”

    Heads up: it’s not 1950 anymore.

    It’s far easier to earn six-figures yourself than it is to find a partner that hits every point on your checklist. You’ll miss out on great guys (that might make only $90,000 per year! boohoo!) by adhering to this ridiculous plan.

    One thing I think you need to realize is that someone making six-figures probably doesn’t want to bankroll you through life. The hustle & grind plus time, talent, and skill it takes to become a top-earner isn’t easy, which is why most people don’t do it. The people that do do it, do it for themselves. No one gets to the top and then thinks “wow now I can go find a low-earning spouse to give half of this away to!”

    Also note that six-figures isn’t nearly as much money as you think. Depending where you live, it’s about $6,000/mo after taxes, probably a little bit less. After rent/mortgage, regular bills, student loan payments (which in this day and age almost always accompany a high salary), and savings, your spending money is pretty modest. I couldn’t believe how underwhelming $100K was when I hit it. My lifestyle barely looked any different than it did at $50K, with the exception of little things like being able to go out to ear twice per week instead of once, or being able to buy slightly more make-up & clothes. Day to day, everything is exactly the same.

    With a $100,000 income, you still have to budget. It still takes a lot of time and discipline to meet your financial goals. Some “basics” like housing still seem impossibly expensive. I am terrified by the amount of financial gymnastics it will require to afford children. In other words, finding someone earning a $100,000 per year probably won’t relieve you of as much “strain” as you imagine. Yes, it is easier to live on $100,000 than $50,000, but it is in no way life-changing and worry-free.

    You’re better off learning to live on less, because I promise you’ll be disappointed if you marry someone for $100,000 only to find life is still painfully ordinary and all the normal ups & downs of relationships is still there.

    • Emma

      Sing itttt! We’re a 160k household ($161,200, because I like precision in my finances!), and I bring in about 95k of that figure (we’re in Boston, so high cost of living, but we spend practically zero on transportation to compensate). We probably could have a child…if we gave up absolutely everything else. Stopped aggressively saving for retirement. Stopped aggressively paying off student loans (now down to the mid-30ks, and only possible due to the DINK lifestyle). Stopped saving for a down payment. Stopped buying treats and the occasional meal out. We’d have to start shopping at Stop n Shop instead of Whole Foods. We’d trade international trips for long weekends on the Cape. I’ve done the math a million times. Everybody reading this thinks they’d handle our 160k better than we would, that they’d be able to buy more and experience more, but you’d be wrong.

      We’ve only been at this income level for 1.5 years. Before that, our lives were pretty much the same, except we’ve added one additional international vacation per year. That’s not nothing, but it’s not a cushy life where we ball out and don’t budget and never worry. We’re doing everything that the financial experts say we should do, and that feels wonderful. But adding a child would punt us straight into the paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle.

      • Erin Williams

        “Everybody reading this thinks they’d handle our 160k better than we would, that they’d be able to buy more and experience more, but you’d be wrong.” I suspect those people just prioritize differently. For example, I shop at a local mexican/armenian store (I know, odd but great combo) with amazing prices on vegetables and terrible prices on carbs and cheese, so it helps keep my diet in check. Even if I could afford Whole Foods, I’d probably keep shopping where I do. I’m sure I’d spend what I save there on something that you could care less about.
        So, when someone thinks or for whatever reason actually says that they could spend that amount of money better than you do? Mentally add “for them.” They could spend it better for themselves, according to their own priorities. You know your priorities and needs better than anyone, you are uniquely positioned to optimize your life.

    • Vv

      Briget, you came! No longer need to respond haha

    • Vv

      Okay, I read the article again, this time putting on my publishing goggles and… I have to agree with her. Working in a low-paying, fast-paced industry where what you do or the value you bring matters much much less than the length of time you’ve put in, really messes anyone’s idea of what being broke or struggling financially means.
      ” But I will never be independently rich.” At some point last year, I woke up, realized this and started furiously looking into new career paths. Love my job, but the thought of earning no money for the next 5-10 years of my life before I hit 6 figures…which as you point out is really still not that much money… heck no.
      tl;dr: Writer is right because she works in publishing, I’d have the same attitude if I wasn’t scared of being financially dependent on anyone..and didn’t have the good sense to leave the publishing industry.

    • JWHacket

      “I bring a lot to a relationship: I’m an excellent cook, keep a beautiful home, am a wonderful hostess”
      Heads up: it’s not 1950 anymore.

      So tell me, Bridget. What else does she bring to the table besides student loans, her personality?

      • Well, that was my point, wasn’t it? That being able to keep a home isn’t enough to bring to a relationship to lay claim to half of a six-figure earner’s income.

        Maybe she should try bringing six-figures to the relationship?

  • I think submissions like this really test The Financial Diet’s mandate of having honest conversations about money, and the fact that Chelsea et al. choose to post them is a testament to the fact that they’re sincere in their project. Ok so now that I’m done brown nosing…

    Everyone’s hesitant to acknowledge the awkward truth that marriage is really a business arrangement, even today. In this time period and in a place like where the author lives, there’s no necessity to get married in order to be with someone you love (unless you count social pressure) so let’s be frank about what a marriage entails. In the words of one of my favourite under appreciated characters, Miranda Hobbes, marriage is about “the merging and protection of assets”. (And no I’m not being funny. I’m quoting Sex and the City earnestly. That show is the shit.)

    I don’t take this as the author’s unwillingness to support herself or potentially grow her income. I think she’s just being frank about a) what she wants out of any future relationship (marriage) and b) the unromantic truths of marriage (i.e. shared finances).

    Also as a side note: even though we treat acknowledgement of a partner’s household contributions as “retro” or whatever, this kind of labour is extremely important and sadly, somehow along the line, we confused “not exclusively assigning household tasks to women” with “not respecting the importance of household tasks”. Reproductive labour was (arguably still is) considered the sole domain of women and that’s where it isn’t cool, but dismissing the importance of reproductive labour isn’t cool either.

    In addition, why do people feel it’s necessary to classify women as either “gold digger” or “woman looking for true love”? This isn’t a romantic comedy. We’re not trying to establish the hero and the villain here. But I do agree with some comments saying that how someone handles money is a better indication of their financial health than their salary. People are pros at spending more money than they have no matter what they make.

    • Miranda Hobbes is my spirit animal so I feel your comment. But I think the thing that rubbed me the wrong way about this is not that the author recognized she wanted a certain lifestyle (i.e. one that required more than her sole income could provide) but was relying on a partner (male in this case, but it applies in same sex couples too) to make it happen. If she places such a high value on financial stability maybe she needs to get a job that has a higher salary. it seems like she wants to have her cake and eat it too by having the lower-paying job that suits her interests AND the higher salary of a job that might be less appealing. Those six figure jobs pay that much for a reason; they usually suck and entail long hours and stiff competition and it’s not really fair to expect the other person to shoulder a disproportionate share of that burden for something you value. It’s the same reason it’s super shitty for dudes who work to expect their wives to always keep a perfect home and have dinner on the table every night. Division of labor makes sense but this isn’t 1905; a woman can get financial stability without being a great homemaker and making babies and, if that’s something she values, she should find a job that provides it.

    • Paul

      You know what your statement (and the OP’s) doesn’t take into account? It doesn’t take into account that she will be working, too, and that the man might also be an excellent cook, take care of the home, etc. I cook twice as good as any woman I’ve ever dated. So, that line or reasoning is horse manure.

  • meep

    first off, you can make 100k a year and still be in debt or a financial mess so having some arbitrary salary threshold is really silly– you should be looking at overall financial health, not the number on a paystub.

    two, you’re expecting your hypothetical spouse to support you financially instead of aiming to increase your own earning potential. that’s a terrible idea. first off, good luck finding someone who wants to spend their hard-earned $$ supporting a partner who barely contributes to the household income by comparison. two, if you do, setting yourself up so that your husband will always make much more than you means that he will always control the financial purse strings. which means, if you get divorced, if he turns out to be a jerk, if something unexpected happens, you’ll find yourself in a position of being totally financially dependent on someone else. especially if you quit work or whatever to live out your weird 50s housewife fantasy.

    i mean, it’s your life. but marrying someone mostly bc they make a ton more than you won’t make you financially secure– it makes you financially dependent on someone else’s whims. and that’s a really freaking precarious place to be in.

  • becominganisland

    It sounds like once you meet this man who earns 6-figures, you plan to
    upgrade your lifestyle: “I want to be able to move into a reasonable
    one-bedroom apartment in the city I love with my future partner.” You’re
    still going to feel financially unstable if you pair higher income with
    lifestyle inflation.

    If you earn a little over 50k a year, you probably bring in about 3k a month after taxes and assuming you don’t contribute to retirement. You said your rent was 650+a bit less than 300. Let’s round that up to 950.
    3000 (monthly income) – 750 (student loans) – 950 (rent) = 1300
    1300 – 116.50 (monthly metro card) – 183.50 (cellphone and utilities) = 1000
    So it seems like you’d have about 1000 dollars a month to buy groceries, eat out, save, etc. From your living with 3 roommates in a 3-bedroom, it seems like you’re a frugal person, so I guess I’m wondering why 1000 dollars is not enough for you to feel financially stable so much that you feel the need to seek this stability elsewhere.

  • Kathryn Parker

    Imagine sitting in a room with people yelling to your face, “Why don’t you shut up and find a way to double your salary, gold digger!” First of all, I’m willing to guess that the title of this post was edited to attract for views, because for some reason, we don’t think twice about getting angry at women who don’t strive to be 100% self-made powerhouses who would never think to look to a partner for support.

    I don’t share the salary-fixated mindset of the author, but I sure as hell am looking for a partner whose financial and lifestyle goals resemble mine. Because she specified a number, rather than a list of charcter qualities (hardworking, ambitious, responsible, dedicated), and because that number is very high, this reads as superficial, and we as readers are inclined to judge superficiality, especially in women.

    It’s smart to prioritize your needs when making an extremely important personal and financial decisions. It’s smart to know what you want. It’s okay to ask for it.

    And I’m willing to bet that once the author recovers from what sounds like a recent and hard breakup, this very specific standard she’s put in place will be less important than finding someone who is a good fit for her and her goals and who wants to make a life with her instead of moving to Europe.

    And PS, 50K is a lot of money, and it sounds like she’s worked hard to make it. What’s wrong with wanting a partner who can do the same? Cut a woman some slack maybe?

    • becominganisland

      Sure, the title was edited like a click-bait article, but I think most people are smart enough to recognize that. The edited title matches up with what the author says though:
      “One thing that I resolved to myself… was that I was
      only going to date men who made a certain amount of money. The
      convenient number I came up with was six figures, but of course I’m
      willing to bend on that a little if needed. But the point is that the
      person I am with should make, generally, about twice what I do.”

      I’d bet that most people would agree with what you’re saying in terms of wanting a partner with similar financial and lifestyle goals, figuring out what you want and going for it, wanting a partner who can pull their own weight financially, etc. And if the author said that she wants someone who earns at least at much as she does, I’m guessing people would not be having this reaction. It’s the my-partner-needs-to-earn-twice-as-much-as-I-do-to-support-my-lifestyle-inflation-goals-while-I-do-nothing-about-it-myself thing that’s rubbing people the wrong way.


      50k is just over median salary. It’s ok.

    • Sam DeVoy

      That woman deserves exactly ZERO slack cut to her. If she wants 100K per year, she should earn it, not mooch of some man. Memorise these words:

      Your man’s money is HIS, not yours.

      You’re not entitled to your partner’s money. It would serve her right if she got used for sex and then dumped. She doesn’t treat men like human beings. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like one herself.

  • mm1970

    Ha funny. First, you should have gone to Denmark. It’s an awesome country. My husband spent time in Finland when I was in my 20s, and I didn’t go with him. I regret it. I regret missing out on that opportunity. Why did I miss out? I insisted on working instead.

    Second, that’s a pretty lame rule. While my spouse was making all of $13k as a grad student, he’s making well into 6 figures now (and not in NYC either, though a similarly expensive place). Goodness gracious I can’t imagine dumping him for being a poor grad student.

    Third, make your own damn money. If you can’t afford the life you want in the city you want, you either need to find a better paying career or move somewhere else or lower your expectations. And, by the way, I supported my spouse while he was in grad school. I also make six figs.

  • Ælitis

    I really appreciate your honesty.

  • Callie Michelle

    It is fairly easy to land a rich guy if that is indeed the priority. But if the financial benefit is ever a major consideration in picking a life partner, I cannot imagine much happiness will ensue. (Note that this does not mean I think marrying a person without having conversations about finances is a good idea. Compatibility in finances, in thinking, in values is important.) Financial stability and financial success are great goals to aspire to and to work towards – but to use them as benchmarks for evaluating potential life partners might not be the best tool.

  • I don’t know your situation or what it costs to live in NYC, but I have a really hard time seeing how you would struggle to live on $50K if your housing and student loans only added up to $1400. I earn less with higher expenses and have a child I and get by just fine. This leads me to think that you’re probably not too responsible with money. If I earned six-figures, this would be a big red flag to me before I would date you. Learn how to live on what you have, and your financial struggles will begin to work themselves out.

  • Get a Grip

    I bet the author wouldn’t date a six figure man that gets dirty for a living, like a plumber or a fireman. Just sayin…


      Sure she long as he showered. lol

  • ks430

    Most high achievers/high earners date others like them. People who are high achievers seek other high achievers. It’s going to be a lot easier for you to find a six-figure earner if you’re making six figures yourself; you’ll run in the same social and work circles. Why do you think that so many women who go to the best B-schools and law schools end up marrying people who they met in school or in early professional jobs, or why there are so many dual-doctor and -dentist couples?

    My husband and I have a combined six-figure household income and I earn roughly 3/4 of it. We live in suburban Connecticut so while COL isn’t as high as NYC, it’s not exactly cheap here, either. We have two young children, a 5 year old in school and after school care, and a 2 year old in full time daycare. When we had two kids in daycare full time, child care took up 20% of our gross household income. We haven’t been on a vacation of any kind in 4.5 years, since our older child was an infant. We’re stuck in a too-small 40 year old starter home that we bought 10 years ago because it’s worth less than we still owe on it (thanks, housing bubble!). We’re actually very happy with our lives but there aren’t a lot of luxuries for us. Beware of thinking that six figure income is your magic ticket to the lifestyle you desire, whether you and your partner share in earning it or one of you earns all/most of it.

  • Vv

    “After three years in publishing, I am making just over $50,000 per year, which is actually quite competitive for what I do, if you can believe it.”
    A co-worker who is finally leaving the industry has been in publishing for 3 years making slightly under $35,000. I’m leaving as soon as I find out if i got into grad school or not.
    So, yes, I believe you!

  • Sean

    “I want to choose someone whose finances won’t be a constant strain”

    Hopefully he doesn’t feel the same way.


      Exactly. I’m making 6 figs as a guy and am having difficulty justifying marriage with someone who makes $30k given her expectations in marriage. It really goes both ways.

    • John Roberts

      That’s exactly what I thought. She makes $50k/year and has $750/mo in student loan debt? That tells me she spent $100k on an education that’s not paying for itself and I’d get to pay for it.

      And the whole article is rife with contradictions. I don’t even think she’s shallow for setting the $100k mark. It seems to me like she’s never matured past the young adult stage of dating where you actually think that you can find a partner who represents everything you want with no compromises. I honestly don’t think she’s ever evaluated her priorities and developed any sort of life plan.

      I see nothing in this article that makes me think she’s shallow, just naive.

  • Tim

    hey I make six figures… let’s see if we have anything in common..

  • bovii

    You’re a terrible person.

  • buffonomics

    And thus the phrase “For richer for poorer” goes out the window. I think this generation is far too selfish to truly love anyone but themselves. Like the good book said about this current era “….when the love of many have waxed cold…’

  • Isabel

    I feel exactly the same way. I was married in my early twenties to a guy that I basically supported through grad school. I truly believe that The financial strain we dealt with played a part in our ultimate split (when he left me for someone else). I’m now I’m my thirties and after going through that experience, I am a lot more cautious about who I date. It’s so funny how do many single girls dream of a nice home, family vacations, sending their children to private schools, but somehow never make the connection that in order to live that life, they will NEED MONEY! I imagine there are a lot of women in their 30’s and 40’s right now whose “hot” husbands are now balding, who wish they’d chosen money over looks. You can only “live on love” for so long, then reality sets in. And, it isn’t as simple as “well, go make six figures yourself”. Ok, so, I’m 31. Jobs in my field make about $45-$60,000 at the most. Making a higher salary will require a career change, meaning going back to school and incurring more debt. Now, I could do that, but here’s the problem: I have about right “good years” left to find a husband and have children. If I spend 3-5 of those years in school, I’m basically unavailable during those years. So, I have to pick. Staying with my job, paying off the last of my existing debt and making time for dating makes the most sense.


    Meh..I’m 29 and just hit 6 figures. I’m engaged to a girl who is making $30k but I’m thinking of doing the unthinkable and ending it due to a few reasons. The large income disparity is one of those reasons and sort of flares up everything else. And another reason is I’m having a really hard time swallowing the fact that despite making figs I would make the same household income as my friends making much less but marrying girls who make much more than mine. I have to feel like the sacrifices I have made to get to this point don’t end up in vein.

    If I do end up single again, I will get a house on my own but I will only date girls who are both educated and very attractive. My current fiance is reasonably attractive but doesn’t work out as much as I would like and she doesn’t have her education, which is another big red flag for me.

    Just sayin – those guys who are making 6 figs likely made many sacrifices to get to that point and, if they are on the dating scene, will be seeking the cream of the crop, so to speak. So if you want to marry a guy partly because of his money, that man is going to feel like he has to get something in return in order to be comfortable with marriage.


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  • Mack

    I bring a lot to a relationship….

    *doesn’t name a single thing

  • Andy

    Now I’m not saying shes a gold digger.

    But she is clearly a gold digger.

  • Sam DeVoy

    Any sane man out there would take one look at this gold digging whore and run the other way.

  • Randy

    Don’t worry Caty, I make six figures. I just don’t date anyone as old as 28.

  • inshadowsunseen

    I ain’t sayin she’s a gold digger, but she won’t be with no broke….thank you Kanye for these enlightening words …..

  • James Dwight VanKoughnett

    Wow, what a crazy gold digger. If you want a solid financial life, how about YOU go make 6 figures. It isn’t 1950 and you’re supposed to be “A strong independent woman” for fucks sake. Pull your weight goddamnit, fucking entitled solipsistic ho.

  • epistememe

    I understand this desire and applaud the honesty. In your situation I likely would have similar “goals”. As a man who makes a 6 figure income, I prefer a partner to make a similar contribution to the shared financial pool. I would be hesitant to get into a relationship with someone that only makes 50k/yr and has little prospect to make substantially more. Why? Because I would be expected to pay for upgrading her lifestyle….Forever. This would be true even if we were to divorce. Umm, no thanks. Why would a man risk this in this day of age?