Essays & Confessions

‘My Ex Was A $40,000 Mistake’ — 9 Exes Reveal What Their Bad Breakups Cost Them

By Thursday, September 02, 2021

1. “Two weeks before he moved he texted me he got another girl pregnant…”

“When I was 22 or 23 I was seeing a guy long-distance for about a year. He was in school so he’d visit every few months on breaks. We decided once he was done with his program he’d move in with me in Vegas. Two weeks before he was supposed to move, he texted me (TEXTED ME!) that he had got another girl pregnant and was staying with her. I didn’t even have time to cry I was so furious. I decided I had to remove all traces of him from my life starting with everything he’d ever touched or used in my apartment. I spent half a day packing up nearly everything in my room/bathroom and dropped it all off at a women’s shelter. The last half of that day was spent at Target replacing it all.

“About $600 later I had a totally new space. All new bedding and frame, new pillows, rugs, shower curtain, towels, etc. It was a damn PURGE! He was bad energy and my sanity needed his vibes gone. However, I was working minimum wage at the time so that Target spree was a whole check basically. I had to use payday loans to make my rent that month and it took about two months after that to finally get my money on track again. I don’t regret it for my mental health, but I wish I had better financial habits then so it wasn’t such a hit to my money.” – Mackenzie

2. “I put credit cards in his name, ran them up and he called the cops on me…”

“After my ex cheated on me countless times, I finally kicked him out of my apartment. The final straw was when I came home early from a work trip and I guess he didn’t have a chance to fully scan the place before my return. I found a girl’s broken hair tie on the counter of our bathroom sink and a pantyliner in the trash bin and decided I’d had enough. I told him to get TF out and he obliged. Fast forward and I was still receiving some of his mail and got a couple of credit card offers (one was a Best Buy card and another was a standard credit card). It didn’t take long before I felt I deserved to treat myself for emotional damage, so I activated the cards under his name and ran them up with zero intention of ever paying sh*t back. I figured he’d deal with the consequences and report it as fraud or something.

“Instead, he called the cops on me. Though I wasn’t arrested, the threat of being sued hung over my head, as it was a matter for civil court. I offered to pay him back and made an arrangement outside of court but unfortunately, my ex wasn’t as forgiving or patient as the creditors and pretty much demanded his $3300 back swiftly and in large lump sums. And if you’re wondering, no, we never got back together nor did I ever care to. Though he was sleazy enough to try and work out an arrangement for ‘break up sex’ to clear the remaining half of my balance, which I so vehemently denied.” – Faye

3. “My ex was a $40,000 mistake.”

When I was 26, I dated a coworker for over a year and we ended up breaking up on very bad terms. I mean, horrible. Even worse, I had to see him all the time. One day I went to accompany a friend when they were car shopping (I was their ride) and somehow got dragged into the lure of buying a new car myself. I’m unsure if I wanted a new car or if I wanted my ex to see me in a new car but next thing I knew, I was leaving the sales lot in an Audi A4, equipped with a $2500 down payment charge on my card, a $500 monthly car note and a 72-month loan. Do the math – my ex was a $40,000 mistake (though I did end up refinancing my car a few years later and fell in love with it).” – Jaime

4. “He was just gone one day; it was like he vanished into thin air…”

“A few years ago I had plans to emigrate to Canada. I was looking into things, applying for jobs, etc, when I met what I thought was the love of my life. We met through friends and instantly clicked. Our relationship lasted for 2 years during which we both agreed we wanted to leave our home country, but he wanted to go to New Zealand instead. So I decided, heck, that sounds nice too, and started to apply for jobs there, though I wasn’t lucky enough to get one.

“In the end, he got a job and, without so much as a goodbye, was just gone one day. I was blocked on all social media and his number changed; it was like he just vanished into thin air. Heartbroken and lost, I said ‘Screw it,’ sold everything I could, and booked a flight to Canada. No job, no apartment, no friends, no plan. Thankfully I got lucky and found a job pretty quickly, turning my visiting visa into a work visa, and now I am happily in the process of getting my permanent residency. My ex moved back to our home country and, from what I heard, it was after losing his job in NZ.” – J.M.

5. “I spent $250 to get my hair professionally dyed… turquoise.”

“I tend to change my appearance up in some way after a breakup (getting a piercing, small tattoo, changing my hair, etc). For my first real breakup, I spent approximately $250 getting my hair professionally dyed turquoise – haha. Prior to this, I never dyed my hair and only got simple haircuts from a neighbor who ran her small salon in her basement and charged me $15-20 for a trim and layers. At that time I was in second-year university and was living off of student loans and barely had money. I don’t know what I was thinking!” -Avvai K.

6. “I got hit with a DUI charge that is still stuck with me in many ways, to this day.”

“Ok so this is a bit embarrassing and controversial but I hope this is a no-judgment zone. Technically this isn’t something I bought but I’m still paying the price for my post-breakup meltdown. After finding out my boyfriend got another woman pregnant, I went out with friends and got super wasted. The worst part is, I had hesitantly gotten an abortion (per his request) two months prior and didn’t tell a soul. I felt bottom of the barrel low. After sending a series of drunk texts and being left on read, calling him and being ignored, etc., I made the mistake of trying to drive to his place to get out the last of my feelings out of my chest. Well, I never made it that far, as I got pulled over for reckless driving and you guessed it, I failed my sobriety field test. I got hit with a DUI charge that is still stuck with me in many ways, to this day. My license was suspended, I Ubered everywhere, my insurance skyrocketed and I had to sell my car to afford my Ubers.  Though I know how incredibly selfish driving under the influence can be, I was pretty hard on myself and pitied myself for reaching such a low over a man. However, after learning about other unfortunate stories where people aren’t so lucky to live, I decided to humble myself and every day I thank God no one got hurt. I’ve also used the experience to help me grow as a person. I’m still too scared to get behind the wheel again but I’m thankful it wasn’t worse.” -Anonymous

7. “I decided that success would be my best revenge and man, did it cost me…”

“Weeks before my college graduation, I found out my now-ex had been cheating on me with his then-ex turned fiance (they’d get engaged two years later). I was so hurt and completely in shambles; I even did a mediocre job on the majority of my finals and tests but luckily managed to slay my graduating thesis presentation (which by that point in my college career, was the only real project that mattered). That same month, I’d been approved to work a cool post-grad internship that would take me out of my hometown and into the big city of New York. Just days before my actual graduation ceremony, emotional wounds still fresh, I made the mistake of snooping on their Facebook pages and saw that they were kissing and appeared to be very much in love *gag!* So I decided that success would be my best revenge and man, did it cost me. Since I was graduating early and blowing that small town, I boastfully shared my internship news in my FB status and got a ton of “Congrats!” and likes. I was sure the news went viral in our mutual group of friends and ended up on their feeds, which in turn made me feel great.

“But that wasn’t enough. The day before I was set to take my graduation pictures, I impulsively decided to blow about a third of the money I saved for New York, on a pair of $900 Louboutin shoes. Mind you, I made very little money at the time and didn’t own a credit card… but I wanted to show them off in my photos as well as walk across the stage and feel like a total badass. Uh, nope! Instead, they were the most uncomfortable heels ever and impossible to walk in. Cardi B doesn’t call them “Bloody shoes” for no reason, okurrr?! I also couldn’t return them since of course the soles were now used. While I did make it across the stage without tripping (by the grace of God), I took them off immediately and changed to flats. When I went to New York, I really could’ve used that money. On the plus side, I managed to get a decent job less than a year into my move and saved my money (oh, and on a petty note, she ended up dumping him before the wedding!) Karma.” – Diamond

8. “I spent $200 on urban gardening bullsh*t…”

“One time my ex completely left town without telling me so a friend took me to Ace Hardware to help me convert these wine crates I had into planters for my patio and the cashier asked if we were trying, “That urban gardening bullshit.” $200 later I did indeed create urban gardening bullshit on my patio.” – Mackenzie

9. “Drunk me booked a non-refundable flight to Taiwan… to work on an organic farm in Asia.”

“Ten years ago, after the excruciatingly awkward break-up of my last attempt at a long distant relationship,  I got very drunk on white wine one evening with some friends. When I woke up the next morning, I had my credit card in my hand. A few hours earlier drunk me had booked a non-refundable ticket to Taiwan. Drunk me had proclaimed she wanted to work on an organic farm in Asia. Luckily it was a return flight, but a six-week trip during massive typhoon season. I lost my luggage forever on the way there and had a hard time finding clothes that fit me in Taiwan. I felt very large and not in charge (LOL!) That said, working on the farm was great for reflecting on my mistakes and I haven’t used a credit card since!” – Anonymous

Image via Unsplash

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