How Living Intentionally Changed What I Could & Couldn’t Afford

Sometime not too long ago, my wife and I had lunch with my brother and a friend of his. It was our first time meeting this friend, so we got into all of the usual pleasantries that come with meeting someone — what do you do, where do you live, and other things like that. When I said that I was a lawyer and my wife was a dentist, we got the usual “wow” type reaction that we often get when we introduce ourselves by way of our professions. People always seem to be impressed by the lawyer and dentist combo.

At some point in our conversation, we got to talking about our home, and naturally, we were asked about how we handle the winters in Minnesota. Anyone from Minnesota knows that this is a common question you get from people not from a cold state. After all, how do people live in such a hellish landscape?

“Isn’t it super cold there?” we were asked.

“Well, we really try to get outside and just embrace the winter. We bought some cross-country skis a few years ago, so we try to cross-country ski when we can.”

“Do you ever go regular skiing?”

“Not really,” I responded. And then, without really thinking too much about it, I said, “We don’t really know how to ski and we can’t really afford it anyway.”

This seemed to puzzle my brother’s friend, and she leaned over and whispered something to him, which made him laugh. As my brother later told me, his friend had asked, “If they’re a lawyer and a dentist, how come they can’t afford to go skiing?” It’s actually a good question —  lawyers and dentists are viewed as two professions that generally make good money. So what do we mean that we can’t afford to go skiing? I think it all comes down to how we view the word “afford.” It’s about what we can and what we choose.

What You Can Afford Versus What You Choose To Afford 

What you can afford versus what you choose to afford might sound like pretty similar concepts — but they aren’t the same. The distinction lies in the word “choose.” It’s all about intentionality — what you can versus what you choose. The truth is, most of us can afford pretty much anything we want. You really only need to do one of three things to afford something:

  1. Figure out a way to make the money
  2. Get someone to give you the money
  3. Borrow the money

No, I probably can’t go out and buy a Tesla today. But, I probably could one day, if I really wanted to. The same is true of other ludicrously expensive things. Dental school can cost $500,000. Law school cost me $87,000 (even with a 50% scholarship). And yet, anyone with the qualifications can afford to go to dental school or law school — if they want to. It’s the choice of choosing to afford the things you want that actually matters. Most people don’t understand this fact and let things choose them — the house that’s too big, the car they don’t really need, the clothes they never wear. You can afford it, but it’s up to you whether you want to afford it. You get to choose!

A few things that I can think of that I can afford include:

  • A new phone
  • A new laptop
  • Nicer clothes
  • A bigger house
  • A car

There are things on this list that I do have. There are other things that I don’t. I don’t have my own car, for example, because that’s something I just don’t care about. I can afford it, but I choose not to. My wife and I could go skiing, but we don’t because we’d rather choose to do something else that we can afford. Your own list of things you can afford is probably different. What matters is that you are choosing your list.

Be Intentional — Choose What You Can Afford 

You can buy anything you want. It’s not really that hard. The harder part is figuring out the things you actually want.

I went for years without understanding this. Looking back, I actually made a decent chunk of change over the course of my college career — over $20,000 by my count. And yet, when it was all said and done, I had nothing to show for it in the end — just a bunch of stuff that I could afford (shoes, clothes, and things like that). But nothing that I really chose to afford.

The essence of financial independence is pretty simple — it’s all about making deliberate choices. Choose the things that you really want. Ignore the things that you don’t really want. The nice thing is, you get to make this list. So make it a good one.

Financial Panther is a lawyer who paid off $87,000 worth of student loans in just 2.5 years by choosing not to live like a big shot lawyer. If you’re interested in following his journey, you can visit his blog, Financial Panther, where he writes about personal finance, crushing debt, financial independence, and side hustling using the sharing economy. Follow him on Twitter here.

Image via Unsplash

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