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Why I Wouldn’t Marry Someone With Student Loan Debt

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To read a response to this article, “I Have Six Figures In Student Debt, And My Husband Loves Me Anyway,” click here

I should probably start by saying, before everyone readies their pitchforks and lights their torches, that someone having student loan debt is not grounds for ending the relationship. But I do think, in some cases (my own included), that it should be grounds for postponing marriage. My boyfriend is currently putting himself through graduate school. (We have no plans of moving in together, let alone getting married, but this is a fitting hypothetical scenario.) I admire what he’s doing, and that he’s financing it himself, but have no interest in going to grad school myself. Furthering my education seems appealing in theory, but I am absolutely unwilling to incur that amount of debt. He chose to pursue a graduate degree, and while I think it will be greatly beneficial down the road, I wouldn’t want to marry him (or anyone) while they’re still paying off the greater part of those loans.

In the interest of full transparency, I’ll admit that I do not have student loans. I chose my school because they offered me a substantial amount of scholarship money, and I’m extremely fortunate that beyond those scholarships, my family put me through college. However, I didn’t consider any schools with a full price sticker because I would’ve had to take out loans or put an unnecessary weight on my family.

So, I’d be hesitant to marry into debt. And I sincerely apologize because that comes out sounding not only entitled, but also painfully unromantic. I would never not spend my life with someone because they had debt, and I do want to get married at some point (many moons from now). But realistically, marriage means merging your finances, which would translate to me hypothetically taking on my boyfriend’s graduate school debt.

Obviously, most couples who are engaged or are newlyweds, and still have loans, can work out a system where neither is signing on to pay the other’s debt, and I completely respect that. Some of those couples have been together a very long time and know more about relationships than I could ever pretend to know, and I fully realize that. But here’s my concern: If I was with someone who had debt, and we were planning to get married, we’d come to some arrangement where he would cover his student loans separately, from his own money. And while that would solve most of the issue, that’s still X number of dollars that I’d be putting into our shared pool of resources and he wouldn’t be.

To this point, the New York Times published an article in 2010 about the correlation between student debt and broken engagements. It says: “Even if disclosure [of debt] doesn’t render you unmarriageable, tricky questions linger. If one person brings a huge debt to a relationship, who is ultimately responsible for making good on the obligation? And if it’s $170,000, isn’t the more solvent partner going to resent that debt over time no matter how early the disclosure comes?”

A strike against my opinion (I’m sure there are many) is that I’m limiting my argument to student loan debt. Does that mean I’d also postpone marriage if someone had a car loan or credit card debt? No. I think student loans are something that plague us in the long term, while credit card debt (even a large running debt) and car loans can be paid off within a fairly short period of time. (Short being a relative term— I’m paying off my car on a 5 year plan.) It’s overall a more manageable debt.

When I get married I would also want to at least be open to the possibility of starting a family, which is another argument for postponing marriage until after student loan debts have been paid. I wouldn’t want to face having a child if I still had my own student loan payments, or had to worry about someone else’s. Bringing a baby into the world changes your financial life in every possible way, and saving for a child is more challenging when you still have to deal with bills from Sallie Mae.  

I have a few friends and close family members who got married this year and still have student loan debt. I have no doubt that they will be able to approach the challenge of sharing payment, or figuring it out together, in a positive and healthy way. A few of these couples are starting to think about having children. While student loans don’t dissuade them from the idea, they will all openly admit that loans are a serious set back to their finances, especially if they want to be parents in the near future. Raising children while paying off your student loans is, of course, still very doable. In fact, my parents finished paying off their loans only a few years before my brother went to college. But these are the challenges that we face by having student loans that follow us through life.

At the end of the day, I really just think this should be an open conversation. Loan debt and how students (especially millennials) cope with it has been a hOt bUtTon iSsUe for years. And 2007-2025 is when majority of millennials will tie the knot. So how does the student loan debate fit into that? And how will millennial couples navigate their student loan debt when merging their finances? 

When I get married, I want to be on sound financial footing. I want to know that if I were to have a child, or wanted to have a child, I wouldn’t have loans dragging me down. And while I know that marriage will always come with financial tensions, I want to know that student loans won’t be the prevailing one. 

Maya Kachroo-Levine is a writer and Editorial Assistant at The Financial Diet. Send her an email at maya@thefinancialdiet.com or follow her on Twitter.

  • Anonymous

    So essentially you want access to his money that he’s spending on his student loans. And because he wasn’t born into a wealthy family he shouldn’t be able to further his education.

  • Roselyne

    I would think that any amount of debt (ANY debt, not just student loan debt – though student loan debt is unavoidable for many people whose parents can’t help with schooling, so singling that out as opposed to any other debt is kind of classist…) would be a pre-marriage discussion. When I married my husband, I had no student loan debt, but he had some… about 10K worth, which is a managable amount and we paid it off in less than a year. 170K would have a huge impact on your life, though – an extra 1K out of your collective monthly budget affects housing decisions, child-related decisions, your (collective) ability to weather a period of unemployement and not be completely screwed… In a similar way, though 28K of high-interest debt, or a 400$/month car payment, or even an expectation that you’ll have a mortgage on a huge house (and face the subsequent payments…), also affects your life, and it’s important to know what kind of life you’re signing up for, and whether your values around spending/saving/lifestyle/debt repayment/long-term plans match up.

    • becker

      Agreed. Any amount of debt being brought into a partnership should be discussed, not just student loan debt.

    • Roselyne

      Also, as a follow-up thought: personally, I’m horrified at the notion of paying off a car in 5 years – 5 years of payment on a depreciating asset taking up a sizable chunk of monthly discretionary spending? Nooooo thank you. (On the flip side, the same payment on student loans IF they directly led to a higher salary that meant the payments had little to no effect on the end bottom line… I’d be way more ok with that.)

      Seriously, treating student loans as something completely apart from other loans is absolutely classist in that a lot of people make those decisions at 17, informed (often poorly) by family who can’t (or won’t) support them, and is seen as one of the only means of accessing a better quality of life and a good salary in the future (which, in our current economy, is debatable). A car, on the other hand, is something you signed on for as an adult, fully aware that you’d be paying that amount of money on a depreciating asset on a monthly basis… Frankly, assuming the hit to the monthly cashflow was similar, I’d be way more ok with a partner who had student loans than a partner with car payments, personal values taken into account.

    • meep the reincarnated.

      i mean, yes something like 170k in debt is huge, but also, it’s not necc that that means you’ll be paying 1k a month towards it. programs like PAYE and IBR exist for that very reason and they all have some sort of forgiveness/loan relief at the end. the point is, having student loan debt doesn’t automatically mean you live in poverty forever after, or that you make bad financial choices or whatever. it’s just a financial responsibility, like rent, or utilities or credit card payment. if you deal with it responsibly, it’s manageable. there’s just so much misinformation and lack of awareness of real-world choices in this piece.

  • The part that I don’t think you are thinking about is that this isn’t a situation where an adult decides to take on this debt. Children are railroaded into it at 16-17 years old, by well-meaning but poorly-informed adults, and then are stuck with it in perpetuity thanks to a hostile legislative environment around personal finance. Do you really think that most people are able to make a reasonable decision about finance, employment & risk at that age? Student debt is practically a congenital condition for most people at this time. Given the economic climate and the average salary & debt amounts, people in their mid 20’s have very few choices about how to best handle it, and it is affecting people now 20-50 years down the line.

    I think, if you feel that people with student debt are not on sound financial footing, you have a moral obligation to approach the issue as an activist against the current student debt system. The facts available at this time suggest that student debt is a burden that is put onto people who otherwise aren’t expected or able to control the situation

  • Ann-Renee Blais

    This post is so offensive on so many levels! It shows a profound lack of maturity and a sense of entitlement. I hope that, someday, you come to appreciate the value of self-reliance and hard work. I put myself through a PhD program and will never need a man or my family to support me. Grow up!

    • She said EXACTLY what you said. Where’s the entitlement?

  • I get the principles behind your choice and I think you have a right to stand by them. But as someone who’s incurred a lot of student loan debt with very little choice in the matter, your attitude is discouraging. My parents (who are by no means wealthy) didn’t even let me apply to more affordable schools because they wanted me to get the “best education possible.” I didn’t have the resources to fund my own schooling, so I just blindly accepted that I would be paying back loans for years and years. We all learned our lesson after my first year, when I was forced to transfer lest I choose to take out MORE loans and basically doom myself to a lifetime of debt. But even in my current position, I’m going to have to work my ass off to pay back what I do owe, and that’s not something I consciously signed on to when I graduated high school. I want to marry a person who will take on my challenges just like I’ll take on theirs. I wouldn’t expect someone to hitch their wagon to mine if I wasn’t working extremely hard to take care of my debt, of course. But if my potential husband couldn’t look past my debt in the first place then that sure as hell isn’t someone I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.

    • Maya Kachroo-Levine

      I think this is a really fair point, and thank you for articulating it in a positive way. I chose to be transparent about where I was coming from solely because I’d rather own up to the fact that I was very fortunate rather than try to argue that I understand the struggle that comes with paying for loans 20 years after college. However, that is only my opinion and I agree that it doesn’t take the flip side (of being weighed down with a lot of undergrad loans out of necessity) into consideration. Thanks so much for this perspective.

  • Banyan

    It’s a poor marriage where one feels like they do and should resent the other for being less fortunate.

    • becker

      Money is the number one reason for divorce. Maybe you shouldn’t ditch someone because they have debt, but a couple that wants to make it work has to discuss their finances openly and honestly. Not doing so is bound to create resentment, in one person or the other.

      • Banyan

        Absolutely agree. I hope my comment doesn’t suggest otherwise! I meant that no one should resent their partner for being less fortunate than themselves and thus “burdening” them.

    • dicktionary

      Aren’t you glad you don’t have to marry the author of this post? I am!

  • Brittney Cloyd

    I don’t understand why you accept debt as long as it’s not a student loan. Debts can be small or large, regardless of the type of debt. My student loan will be paid off in 2 years total, so by your own logic, I’m doing better than you with your 5-year car payment.

    Personally, I’d marry someone with a student loan before I’d marry someone with credit card debt. The interest rate on credit cards is higher, for one thing. But more importantly, student loans are often unavoidable, yet an investment in the future. I’m not saying people shouldn’t (or don’t) use credit cards to feed their families in an emergency. But credit card debt is often the result of poor planning and overspending. So if you marry someone with credit card debt, you might get in a situation where they technically COULD pay off the debt, but they don’t. On the other hand, a person with student loan debt is in an unfortunate financial situation, but s/he is there for a good reason: to get an education and make more money in the future.

    Of course I’m playing devil’s advocate here. If I loved someone, I would accept and marry him even if he had debt. For better or for worse, and all that.

    • Maya Kachroo-Levine

      I appreciate that you’re shedding light on both side’s of the argument. My only point was to show that typically student loan debt is much higher than CC debt or car loans. if someone proposes when you have 5k in credit card debt, if you’re working full time, you can try to pay off as much of that as possibly before the wedding. Similarly, I pay $200 for my car each month, but it’s only going to end up totally $12,000, and can be beneficial to both people in a marriage. There’s a huge gap between that and student loans. However, I agree that investing in higher education could mean making more money, but that’s not a guarantee.

      • Erin Williams

        So you think your partner should value the fact that you have a car, but you shouldn’t need to value the fact that he’s educated? Can’t you hear how unbalanced, how completely selfish, that sounds?

        • Anonymous

          All your comment is doing now is twisting her words. How is that helpful?

          • Erin Williams

            I’m not twisting a thing. She says that a car can be beneficial to both people in a marriage, but that education does not guarantee more money and that she won’t marry someone with educational debt but that car loans are fine. Neither of them is a guarantee, they’re both “can”s, but she’s very clearly expecting others to value debt that she chooses and making no effort to value debt that he chooses. It doesn’t sound like she has a clue how selfish that is.

      • Brittney Cloyd

        You’re right in that you’re not guaranteed to make more money just because you have an education. But I can guarantee you that I would not have my job, and with it the ability to pay back my loan, without my very specific degree. And I can guarantee you that, as long as I have that job, I would make more money with additional education (e.g., a graduate degree) than I would with just a Bachelor’s. If I had a husband, the money I make would benefit him as well.

        On the other hand, you ARE guaranteed to have a rapidly depreciating asset the minute you buy a car with credit. In fact, if you owe more than the car’s worth (and you WILL at the beginning of the loan period), you can’t even sell the car. You would have to pay the balance with your savings just for the privilege of getting rid of it. So you’d be locked in not just to the car payment, but also insurance, gas, upkeep, etc.

        Full disclosure: I don’t own a car. I sold my car for $8,000 when I owed $3,000 on it. I was four years into the loan. When I took on that loan, I never dreamed I would choose to live without a car. I sold it before I moved to take a better paying job in a location where a car isn’t necessary. You may think there’s no way you’d sell yours, and you may think that it’s a guaranteed benefit to your partner in the future, but you don’t really know. Without car expenses, I save at least $500/month.

        It’s fine that you have a car payment. It’s fine that I have a student loan. My point is that it’s unwise to make blanket statements like, “I won’t marry someone with a student loan, but I’m OK with other debts.” Every financial situation should be assessed and discussed individually.

  • Julianne

    Have to agree with a few others on their thoughts, this is so classist and entitled it’s upsetting. I’m disappointed to see this on TFD as it is not useful in any way. It is of course your choice who you marry and when you choose to marry that person. Most of us are not lucky enough to afford college ourselves or with the help of parents. I have tens of thousands in debt, and realize I’ll be paying for years to come. Education is an investment in the future and yes, it is expensive. I do not think that this sets our marriage up for failure or inequality. We have factored loan debt just like any other debt or monthly bill into our budget. It’s not even a big deal because there’s no way to go back and not get loans. We wouldn’t put off marriage for 20+ years just because I have another couple hundred in bills each month. Wow.

    • It seems to me that a big part or TFD is bringing the light to issues around money that are traditionally left to chance and ignorance. When I met and married my wife, she had huge debts from her oldest son’s legal issues. And I willingly took them on as part of our relationship. But she didn’t expect it and frankly, it caused a lot of issues for the first many years, as we could do little that wasn’t “cheap movie night”, or “Bad Chinese takeout.” And it bred some resentment, as I had expectations of what a marriage would look like, which had to be (rudely and very suddenly) recalculated.
      29 years later, we agree that it was a very stressful time. And if we hadn’t been really focused on making things work, probably wouldn’t still be together.

      • Jillian Jones

        Thank you Yogi and Julianne, I did think the author made some good points, but was slightly lacking on the wisdom and sensitivity side of things…reading this, I kept thinking of how pointless it was to make statements about a marriage before it even exists yet, and when it can mean something different to everyone. Yet, financial transparency IS important and I would love to hear more about how it has affected a real marriage 29 years in! Life is never predictable…

      • Maya Kachroo-Levine

        Thank you for these points. I agree with Jillian that it would be great to hear more about your perspective after 29 years of marriage. I absolutely take your points, Jillian & Julianne, that speculating about marriage long before it’s going to be part of your life can be futile. I am drawing from personal experience, and I come from a family where money (and one parent’s student loans) is still a topic of contention, even after divorce. I think talking about this issue now, instead of years down the road, is the best solution.

  • meep the reincarnated.

    I mean, good luck finding someone to marry who does not, nor
    will ever have student loans. Unfortunately it’s a reality that nearly everyone
    our age is in some kind of debt, so unless you find someone who’s like,
    independently wealthy and could finance all their education by themselves, good
    luck marrying anyone at all. And this reasoning to me seems really juvenile—first
    off, you’re not legally responsible for your partner’s debt incurred before
    marriage. Second, there are plans like IBR and PAYE that cap your payments at
    10 or 15% of discretionary income—that’s less than a couple hundred dollars a
    month, I can’t imagine that’s much less than you paying off your car. Third, you’re
    equating being in student loan debt with bad financial planning/lack of
    security for things down the line. That’s a pretty bold blanket statement. Personally,
    I’m like you in that I chose an undergrad based on going to the place that gave
    me the biggest aid package. But I’m going to need to incur a lot of debt to
    attend law school, because I plan on going to the best damn place that’ll take
    me, because that’s the best way to guarantee I’ll be employed down the line. My
    debt does not make me unmarriageable. It’s a carefully calculated investment in
    my future that I plan to pay off independently with the sort of job I can only
    acquire through that particular skillset. It’s honestly really insulting to
    hear someone whose parents supported them through school—even partially– looking
    down on people who had to take loans to compensate for that gap.

    There’s a lot of immaturity and a lack of understanding for
    other people’s circumstances in this piece. That’s a pretty disappointing
    footing to set off on when looking for a lifetime commitment.

    • Erin Williams

      Well remember, other kinds of debt are ok with her. 17% APR credit card debt due to frivolous spending, no problem! But don’t you go investing in your future, that’s a major red flag.

  • meep the reincarnated.

    “However, I didn’t consider any schools with a full price sticker because I would’ve had to take out loans or put an unnecessary weight on my family.”

    like, you realize not everyone is in debt because they went to a school at sticker right? that in fact a lot of people don’t qualify for financial aid or their parents can’t/won’t help them out? and you’re dismissing people who are self reliant, and paying their own way through school because you’d want that extra few hundred dollars towards what, subsidizing your grocery bill? rereading this just makes me actively angry.

  • Tara

    I have an 820 credit score and I also have student loans. You are an idiot if you think financial health comes down to loans alone. Grow up, and grow some emotional complexity while you’re at it.

    • Anonymous

      As a regular reader of TFD, I have read many of Maya’s articles (maybe all of them), and while we are different (different socio-economic classes and I’m not in a relationship) I enjoy her writing because it offers a different perspective from my own. Maya has encouraged my writing in the past, as well, so I can speak to her as a person in that she is incredibly committed to making TFD the best web site it can be. I don’t mean to sound defensive, but she is a great writer and is very thoughtful, and I think it’s great that the editors embrace her being willing to put herself out there and write about a controversial topic.

      • Tara

        The topic itself is hardly controversial. It just needs to be handled by someone who has a modicum of perspective. I think about this all the time. I have about 100K in student loans right now (undergrad and law school) and work very hard to make more than minimum payments while not having a biglaw salary. I also have zero credit card debt, paid off my car very quickly, and do everything else I can to save money so more can go to my loans. Of COURSE I think about what this will mean for my future partner, and what I am willing to take on if he has any student loans. But as long as both parties are focused on making the necessary (often hard) decisions to pay down the debt, life is worth living. Maya is essentially saying that any smart person should not want to marry me. Sorry, but I have no patience for such coldhearted idiocy. She is the opposite of “thoughtful.”

        • becker

          The author is not saying a smart person should not marry someone with student loans. The author is saying that she herself will take into account her partner’s student loan debt when deciding on a life-long partnership.

    • Erin Williams

      I figured TFD was just succumbing to the clickbait strategy of blogging. Look how many comments it got them, even if 75% of them are here to say this is a shallow thoughtless article lacking in their usual nuance.

      • meep the reincarnated.

        surprisingly early for them to be hitting that stretch, disappointing if it’s true.

    • Zhivka

      Same here, 806-834 credit score, a luxury car’s worth of student loans and paying dutifully, half-way there. Immigrated to United States with my family in junior year of high-school from a war-stricken country, two suitcases a piece. Sorry we didn’t have the 529’s, trust funds, and more than a couple $1000 to start in the bank account…

      But what’s really messed up here is not that she doesn’t want to marry a guy with student loans. Heck, I don’t want to date guy shorter than 6′-0″, and certain religions just aren’t compatible with my tolerant atheism. Shallow is me, bite me. I mean, go all out, sister, demand nothing less than a unicorn in a batman suit if that’s what turns you on, but for f**k sake, why are you in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t fit your standards??? Oh wait, I think I got it – he’s just a placeholder until the worthy groom arrives. I’m sure it’s fully consensual too. Premeditated terminal relationships of the brave new world.

  • Lauren

    This makes me sad. My fiancé is in grad school, but I LOVE him. I have a HUGE desire for him to fulfil his dreams and impact the world. Yes, we will have debt, but we can write it off on taxes as education expense. Yes, I will be supporting us once we are married. But also, he will be a DOCTOR and he will be my husband. Educational “debt” is the best kind! It means he is motivated and investing in his future, some of the BEST signs for a future spouse. If he was on his own, he would have $210,000 in debt. Because we will be married, we will only be $110,000 in debt as I will be supporting our living costs. If I left him on his own and waited for him to pay off $210,000 of debt we would be in our forties! That’s ridiculous!
    I am extremely disappointed in this article, it just doesn’t make any sense.

    • meep the reincarnated.

      likewise, i’m attending law school next year and my long-term SO is currently in medical school. we’re easily going to be $300,000 in debt combined by the time we graduate. does that mean we’ve decided to never get married? obv not. we’re both aware that we’re not going on any luxury vacations for a while, but all our combined debt means to me is that we’re both hella smart, we’ve both got big ambitions and want to see them through, we’re going to have great careers, and eventually make enough money to pay back all those loans. and then i’m going to be a lawyer married to a surgeon. so. like. we’ll be fine. thanks for the condescending tone of this piece tho.

      • Lauren

        Agreed. I think any investment in your personal success (aka education) proves you are ready to take on the life long responsibility as a spouse!

      • Joe Smith

        I hadn’t heard that law grads were having an easy time finding work. Hope you can.
        You know how long it takes to become a surgeon…I know two doctor couples who had to adopt because the wife became too old. Although there are exceptions, most women need to have had at least one baby in their 20s for the equipment to work.
        The psychological problem is that women in their 20s often are not interested in having children. They wish to explore their “big ambitions”. By the time they become obsessed with babies, their body has betrayed them.
        And, so, certain demographics are shrinking while others are exploding with fertility.

  • DouglasFur

    I find this article so odd. So you are OK with credit card and car debt but specifically not student loan debt? I work in bankruptcy, so clearly I have seen things that you have not been exposed to. Things like men and women, single and married, in tens of thousands and sometimes HUNDREDS of thousands of dollars in credit card debt. The interest rate on credit card debt is exorbitant compared to student loans. I certainly hope you recognize that while some people may have $5k in credit card debt, some people have $40k and that $40k is far more difficult to pay off than $40k in student loan debt.

    *As a final thought, I am not a huge fan of student loan debt if it can be avoided (I’ve seen friends make dumb moves like maxing out their student loans to pay off their credit cards for semesters at a time), HOWEVER some student loan debt is worthwhile. You’re telling me that you wouldn’t marry a surgeon that makes $300k a year and has $100k in student loan debt but you would marry a surgeon making $300k a year who has a $100k auto loan for a fancy car?

    • PREACH! Drs, lawyers etc all have huge student loan debts. They also all have the possibility of student loan forgiveness, regular raises, higher income possibilities, and the chance of jobs that come with retirement accounts. I think it also overlooks the larger financial picture which is that a person with large student debts could have those all while having thousands in a 401k/ira/other savings funds. It is far more cocnerning to me to marry someone who has no retirement account (and who I will very literally have to support in thier old age) than someone who has student loans.

    • Maya Kachroo-Levine

      First, thank you for the insight re: credit card debt. I think it’s a good point that if CC debt is at the level of student loans, it should be part of the discussion when marriage is on the table. To answer your question, I’m not saying I wouldn’t stay with someone, or form a partnership with someone who was in a lot of debt, which is a point I specifically highlight in the piece. However, I would consider postponing the institution of marriage or (maybe) decide against marriage entirely if there wasn’t a smart way to make it work financially. There are many couples who would make it work, and I am not opposed that, I just wouldn’t choose that route myself.

  • Christian Gonzales

    My thoughts have been put into words by fellow commenters fairly well, but just have to add: this is really discouraging. I understand trying to post articles that are realistic, not just optimistic, but this is really discouraging for a lot of us that come to this site for ways to positively influence our lives, and to build ourselves UP around our financial situations.

  • Jillian Jones

    I think the reason many people are hurt or offended by this is because it’s hard to hear someone imply that people who make questionable choices are not worthy of the same love and rights as others. And in the grand scheme of things, student loans are probably not the straw that will break a marriage’s back (unless you let it, I guess, but I personally think it would take a lot more than that).
    I think a lot of people feel held back in life by feeling like they don’t have the “right” to do something they want to until they are in the “perfect” financial situation. Here’s a personal example, which is brought up in the article: I have to face the fact that my fertility may run out before my student loans do. Should I not have a kid then? I don’t think the author is being THAT extreme, but people who have to deal with these choices have a hard enough time doing it without the (real or perceived) judgmental attitude of someone who deems someone unworthy of marriage, something that’s so personal and so important to so many people, because of it….

  • David Stein

    Let’s consider some basic principles of finance.

    The first rule of debt payment is: When you have surplus cash, put it toward your highest-interest-rate debt. There might be some exceptions (variable-rate loans, prepayment incentives or penalties, credit-building exercises, etc.), but generally, following that rule will get you ahead fastest.

    Currently, federal student loans have a 4.29% interest rate. It’s some of the lowest-interest debt you can get – much lower than a car payment, WAY lower than credit card debt… sometimes it’s even less than a mortgage rate.

    Even better, student loans are eligible for forbearance (financial hardship), deferment (continuing education), and even forgiveness (public service). Those options aren’t even available for most other kinds of debt.

    To be clear – it’s *extremely* important to verify that whoever you’re marrying has a good financial plan – short-term (i.e., right now), medium-term, and long-term. Talk about credit scores and spending habits; talk about retirement and health and life insurance; talk about employment prospects and typical salaries. Now, there are certainly irresponsible sources of student loan debt: if you blow $200k getting a comparative lit degree, well, good luck. But there are lots of viable plans that involve (often require!) student loans – as just one example, med school is extremely expensive, but jobs are practically guaranteed and the salary is great.

    If an average joe expressed the opinions in this post, I’d brush it off as (among other things) uninformed and oversimplified. But presented by a site that’s self-styled as a source of financial advice… “does not inspire confidence” is an understatement.

    • Erin Marie

      Agreed. I think not totally understanding personal finance makes all debt look BAD BAD BAD. Not true. I wouldn’t put off marriage/children because I don’t yet own my home. I budget for my savings, bills and mortgage payments and keep living my life.

    • chelseafagan

      I appreciate you taking the time to respond so thoughtfully, David. I just want to point out, as the founder of the site, that part of the reason I started it was so that people like Maya could talk about the financial choices and thoughts they hold, but would normally keep to themselves, as money is an incredibly taboo topic. I wanted the TFD community to be able to talk about these issues, to respond to one another, and to learn and grow — which Maya is doing now, in reading and responding to all of these comments.

      We are very young as a site and still navigating the demarcation between ‘advice’ and ‘confessions/personal anecdotes,’ both of which we value heavily (we have many people writing openly about their terrible financial decisions), and this is definitely a good article to consider in that conversation.

      • David Stein

        @Chelsea: That’s a completely reasonable and understandable goal. And I fully support your mission: the weird hangups that we have about money are the source of much grief and bad decision-making.

        There’s an easy solution to this demarcation, in a single word: “EDITORIAL,” or “OPINION,” etc. Use big labels, right at the top of the article, to distinguish vetted articles that are offered as objective advice from commentaries that are offered as a solo perspective. Readers notice that stuff (or, at least, should) and respond accordingly.

        • chelseafagan

          That’s definitely something on our roadmap, now more than ever! (It’s surprisingly not that obvious, from a tech/design point of view, to implement nice little badges that help people. People tend to totally overlook tags, so you generally have to come up with something custom.) But it’s moved to the top of our list!

      • meep the reincarnated.

        hi chelsea, i appreciate you coming down to the comments section to clarify. here’s my small take on this– i totally understand the goal of discussing (even controversial) financial choices and thoughts in a constructive way. and i’ve read great articles on TFD that have run counter to mine. what irked me about this piece was the fact that it wasn’t a “discussion”– it was a blanket statement, followed by a lot of really vague, untrue assertions that basically equated student loans with bad financial planning, sort of not realizing that a lot of people take loans for great reasons or because their parents cant afford to help them out. to me, articles like this perpetuate the idea that there’s a stigma behind having loans or being open about your debt– things that to me, seem to run counter to the whole principle of TFD to begin with.
        people like me feel guilty enough about the prospect of burdening our (extremely supportive, extremely understanding) partners with our educational debt. an article this misinformed, particularly from a TFD staff member, doesn’t inspire confidence in me that i can be open about how much debt i’m in and have it not affect my romantic relationships from here on out.

        as i said in a previous comment, i think there are a lot of other framings that could have made the same point in a better way. particularly when we’re in a space that encourages people to be more open about their debt and financial struggles, an article that basically reads “being open about your student loans with people like me will render you #foreveralone” is unproductive, unconstructive, and unneccessary. the personal growth/learning maya may have had reading these comments doesn’t seem like a fair trade-off for all the people this piece evidently offended.

        • chelseafagan

          Hi Meep

          I get where you’re coming from, and as someone who doesn’t really have debt (at least in any way that impacts my life), I know that I can’t totally understand what it would be like to read this kind of article from that perspective. That being said, I feel strongly myself that marrying someone with very heavy debt, in the monthly repayment range of, say, a mortgage, is a decision I wouldn’t take lightly. My partner doesn’t have debt either, and though I know I would want to be with him regardless, I also know that it would have a serious impact on what we would be able to do together, at least in the short term.

          While there are more delicate and compassionate ways to phrase these concerns, they aren’t totally without merit. My parents were very strict about me not taking on debt, in large part because they know the impact it can have on starting an adult life. I know that they were the exception for my generation, but I still understand that they were trying to prevent me being in a situation like this one — and Maya’s fear, like my parents’ on my behalf, isn’t something I want to totally avoid discussing.

          Chelsea

          • dicktionary

            Hey Chelsea, I’m happy for you and your partner that you’ve had such a financially sheltered life. Your parents were “very strict” about you not taking on debt because they have that luxury. And lucky you! This writer comes off as very classist, and so does your sit. You do real harm to people less fortunate than you when you publish stuff like this.

          • chelseafagan

            Hey Kelly

            I don’t think my parents had the “luxury,” they forced me to go to community college to avoid debt, and set an extremely low budget for what they would agree to pay when I transferred after two years. We were middle class, but also made choices that were much less “luxurious” to avoid debt. Trust me, 18 year old Chelsea hated her parents for making her choose CC.

            Chelsea

          • Just Joe

            Why are you talking in the third person? Poor baby went to CC. That must’ve been hell on Earth for you? Are you ok after your miserable experiences?

          • Zhivka

            Yeah “very strict” does it, sure nuff. It’s like those self-righteous middle class ignoramuses that exclaim: “We saved thousands of dollars this year by making our own coffee at home and passing on the coffee shop lattes!!! If we can do it, you can too!” Boy, I bet it was a painful transition, really gotta buckle down there. Why didn’t I think of that? Oh wait, maybe because MY salary allows for no lattes AT ALL! Not if I want my electricity still running next month, that is.

          • Katy

            I totally agree that marrying someone with a good amount of debt is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. However, this article addressed it in a way that’s not especially helpful. Like you said, there’s a more compassionate way to phrase things. Maybe an article about how to initiate a conversation about debt and repayment with your significant other, questions to ask to be sure you’re on the same page, etc. This article just came off as harsh and narrow minded.

      • meep the reincarnated.

        and another point on the line between financial advice and financial life experiences– there have been pieces on TFD that present as opinions but actually get their facts wrong, which i think is something important for the editorial staff to consider when publishing– for instance, there was an article on PSLF a few weeks ago where the author gave out a bunch of reasons for why she didn’t elect to participate which is absolutely fair– but several of her reasons contained actual inaccuracies about how PSLF works- such as saying that you have to be in PSLF for 10 uninterrupted years which means no career changes in between– this is completely untrue, and IMO it’s misconceptions and bad information about loan forgiveness programs that actually make people refuse to participate in them. and that’s a huge issue– these are some of the only forms of debt relief available to student borrowers so their underutilization means a lot more people are harder off than they would be otherwise.

        even if views are presented as opinions, people come here for financial advice– it would be good to make sure that articles aren’t giving out incorrect information in the guise of opinions.

        • chelseafagan

          We are currently building out our infrastructure to a) separate our different kinds of pieces (opinion/confession vs advice, etc), and b) have a financial professional as a part of the editing process. Believe me, we are as much on board with this as you, but we’re a very young site/business and in our growing phase, and are navigating finance along with our readers. (I started this blog to track my budget and it grew, unexpectedly, from there, so we are definitely learning as we go.)

          But I really appreciate your interest in seeing TFD be the best it can be!

  • James

    Looks like youre never gonna marry a doctor then

  • Lauren K

    This article is the tipping point of bad writing on this site lately. A personal finance writer that has a 5 year car loan? That prefers CC or car debt over student loan debt? Ugh. Lately this site is just a lot of “list” type articles that link to other personal finance sites, or articles that have nothing to do with true personal finance. I like that you guys bring a lighter side to personal finance, but for someone that got a grant for “Educating millenials about personal finance”, you aren’t really bringing insightful financial advice for millennials. I think you need to balance. In the meantime, I won’t be reading

    • Maya Kachroo-Levine

      I’m so sorry you feel this way. I think there’s a lot to be said for the fact that on TFD you’re more apt to read a piece that’s transparent and perfectly honest about financial struggles. Personally, I would rather read a piece where someone confesses that they have debts and explains how they’re repaying them, rather than read a site where some takes the position of being an expert and is not owning up to the fact that they have debt, or a car loan.

      And for the fact that money really is one of the leading causes of divorce, I think it’s unfair to dismiss this as advice that absolutely no one should take. Sure, all circumstances are different and we’re all entitled to our own opinions re: student loans and marriage, but it’s important to be discussing these subjects, regardless of whether we see eye to eye.

      • meep the reincarnated.

        but…you’re not really “discussing” it either. that’s probably the bit that pissed me off the most about this. you just made a blanket statement saying you wouldn’t marry anyone with student loans (including what sounds like your current boyfriend) for no real reason other than you think it won’t put you on a solid financial footing/you might need to contribute more to household expenses. there’s literally no nuance in your argument– you make it seem like student loan=no financial sense. arguments like yours miss so many key points– that loan repayment programs are a thing, that participating in those programs can yield monthly payments of LESS than $200 a month (which is what you’re spending for the next five years on a depreciating asset btw), that some people have massive student loans because they’re attending professional schools that will lead to careers that more than pay off their loans, that people can join PSLF and literally have all their loans forgiven in 10 yrs, that sometimes people don’t HAVE a choice other than to take student loans because they aren’t as privileged as you are to be able to get family help– etc.you just dismiss everyone who has loans as not worthy of consideration because you’ve got some misguided idea that loans=lifetime of indentured servitude, and somehow seem to miss that it’s not being in debt– it’s how people handle being in debt that’s the problem.

        articles like these contribute to the idea that having student loans is somehow stigmatizing– like seriously? what if someone posted an article being like “i’d refuse to marry anyone who’s paying down a car because they should just be like me and not buy a new one, then have their parents pay for the balance”. student loans are something that affects a HUGE proportion of our generation, that people are already burdened enough carrying around, and where people don’t need someone like you telling them that their debt burden will make them ineligible for marriage or kids one day. you could have framed this as “i don’t want to marry someone who struggles to pay back loans” “i won’t marry someone who took out 1m in student loans to get a comp lit degree” “i won’t marry someone who doesn’t have their financial shit together”– SO MANY OTHER FRAMINGS could have made the same exact point– that you approach your finances responsibly (i imagine) and you want to marry someone who does too. but instead this article just came off elitist and condescending. it’s great that you had the option of going to school on scholarships, that your parents paid for the rest, and that you don’t plan on going to grad school. it’d be nice if you recognized that not everyone else has the same privileges and that doesn’t make them any less financially capable than you are.

        articles like these perpetuate the idea that being in debt for your education is somehow stigmatizing or wrong or that there’s an easy fix around being in debt by like, just get your parents to pay! and seriously, you’re in debt too- you just happened to spend it on a car. you’re really not in a place to critique how other people choose to get into debt. this is not the sort of advice i’d expect from a finance blog that caters to millennials and definitely not the sort of writing i’d expect on tfd.

    • Katy

      Yeah, the writing is lacking big time lately. I love the advice, personal stories, and confessions on TFD. Unfortunately, you have to skip over posts like this that come off as bratty, entitled, and not well thought out, not to mention (as others have pointed out) giving completely unsound financial advice.

      • meep the reincarnated.

        agreed i’m also really over these really unoriginal listicles that are like “10 articles vaguely related to this personal finance theme except the links may be broken and the other half aren’t really related and some are so poorly written its pathetic!”

      • Lauren K

        I feel like TyPiNg LiKe this is something Chelsea kind of coined and feels appropriate coming from her voice, but other writers shouldnt try to copy

  • So, in response to a couple of questions, here’s some thoughts
    (Disclaimer: I am a math nerd, concentating on statistical analysis and corporate financial analysis. I am not a financial advisor, and most definitely not YOUR financial consultant. That said, I’ve been deeply involved in finances for more than 30 years.)

    There are four things to think about in the context of the article:
    1) While student loans often carry the lowest (or close) interest rates, they are also the largest loan outside of a mortgage that most people will ever have. Since they are not usually dischargable in bankruptcy, they carry disproportional weight in your credit history. They also consume the largest part of your discretionary income, meaning you will have less to put away for your retirement, vacations etc. SO, while it is true that by paying the most you can on higher interest loans (credit cards and cars) will result in you spending the least money on interest, it is often not a reasonable strategy. Strategizing your payments depending on the actual amounts you owe, willl give you the best balance. You still have to live, after all.
    2) Since you are paying such a large amount of money paying your debt, you have less to do the things that partners would usually split costs of: buying a house, a car, vacations, child expenses, retirement. Not thinking about this LONG before marriage will inevitably result in at least some resentment, as one partner carries the burden of both. Imagine having to say, over and over, “we can’t, because I need to put that money into my 401K.” It won’t take long before that gets old. Spending time discussing this before merging finances means less stress for both partners. And you can’t discuss what you haven’t thought about. Financial issues are a leading cause of divorce.
    3) The costs of student loans (particularly the need to begin paying them immediately on graduation), means that retirement funding gets short shrift. The harsh reality is that the money you put away in the first 10-15 years of your employment largeley determines how well off you will be in retirement. You simply cannot beat compound interest, and the money you put in later has much less time to grow, especially since your expenses climb rapidly after you become a parent, (if that’s your choice) meaning you have more things to spend money on, like schooling, vacations, child care, clothes etc. and therefor less proportionally to invest in your retirement.
    4) I cannot stress this enough. It is a truism that failing to plan is planning to fail. If you have any dreams of becoming financially secure, you MUST have a plan. What will you do if you get a bonus? If you are fired? If you need to take medical leave? If you inherit some money? If your partner leaves? Think it through. TFD is a great resource, but not the only one. Read! Study! Ask questions. Almost no-one I know, even those who are quite well off, has any real understanding of how their finances work. Don’t take anyone’s word for things, verify it for yourself.

    OK. Enough about that. With our hosts’ permission, I will go on a little longer to lay out some things about my marriage from a financial POV.

    When my wife and I met, she had 2 teenagers, one of whom had been repeatedly in trouble. I had no children. She was working full time and trying to pay off the bills from the juvenile “justice” system (why, yes, I’m a little bitter) on a single parent’s budget. She was making reasonable money, but was seriously stressed with the juggling. I was selling insurance door-to-door and while I was making good money, my soul was being sanded off. We moved in together 3 months after we met, and as soon as I understood her financial position, I started helping her with her bills. We didn’t join accounts until about 18 months later, after we were engaged.
    We spent hours talking about finances, partly because of our particular natures, and partly since we needed to organize around the state’s demands (which changed almost monthly). So, when the poop hit the rotating air handler, we were, as far as we could be, ready to deal, without attacking each other in the stress.
    This has stood us in good stead over the last years. We’ve adopted 2 children, helped the family as best we can, dealt with the issues we’ve had. (She is a 13-year cancer survivor, I’ve had my medical issues, our kids have needed help, etc.) We’ve been very lucky, I cannot stress that enough. Our parents did a lot to help us when we were desperate, we had enough income to survive the challenges and prepare for retirement (I’m 58, she’s 65), I had screwed up enough to know what not to do financially, and we talked. Lord, how we talked. About everything, but never AT each other. She barely graduated HS (undiagnosed dyslexia makes it hard to study, yes?) while I have essentially a double bachelors (Comp sci and math). But I never believed that she couldn’t understand the essentials of finance and she never assumed I was mansplaining (even though I did, from time to time. Sorry about that, honey.)

    Anyway, that’s about all I’m up for sharing and thank our hosts for giving me the space.
    BTW, I don’t disagree entirely with David Stein. I think it doesn’t meet the actuality of people’s lives. But please CHECK IT OUT FOR YOURSELF and decide which way you want to proceed.

    • Maya Kachroo-Levine

      So glad you complied with Jillian and my requests to expand on your insights. This was extremely helpful, really appreciate you taking the time to share. 🙂

    • Adila

      Thanks for Sharing this as well!

  • Oh yeah, one more thing. You, and only you, are responsible for your retirement until you and a prtner AGREE diferently. Not potential, not maybe one day, but until the it’s all you. And thinking differently is a great recipe for disaster.

  • Ali

    I think a bigger challenge is when two people in a couple bring different levels of assets (or debts) to a relationship. Even then though, I don’t see a need to delay marriage until debts are paid off. Marriage is a partnership, in which you accept the good and the bad.

  • becker

    I get where the author is coming from here. In choosing my life partner, I very strongly take into account their relationship with money. This includes all debts, not just student loans. I also think about how they believe credit cards are to be used, what they consider to be “necessary expenses”, how dependent they are on their guardians, what spending on a regular Saturday looks like, what spending on a vacation looks like, and everything in between.

    A relationship with someone who does not have a similar attitude about money as me, is not going to work long-term. I think this is what the author may have been getting at/believes fundamentally, but unfortunately zeroed in too much on student loan debt specifically.

    I appreciated TFD putting effort into providing multiple perspectives, even those that aren’t popular. A good follow up article would be “I Took on My BF’s $300K in ~Debt~ and FoUnD LovE #FinancialConfessions.” ;p

  • Can’t say much that hasn’t already been said but there are many people who aren’t marrying because of personal finance reasons, and for millennials that reason is often student loans. nevertheless the article does smack of a narrow-minded worldview. Sounds like the author hasn’t had any friends outside of her presumably middle-class upbringing. And/or this article was written with that age old tip in mind to say something controversial to drive traffic to a website.

  • Obviously, you hit a nerve, Maya. Sorry that you had to take such shit for laying out your personal financial journey.

  • becominganisland

    Not to get too psychoanalytical here, but after reading the NYT article that Maya linked in her post, and combining that with what Maya said in one of her comments about how one of her parents’ student loans is still a source of conflict after their divorce, I understand where Maya is coming from. The emphasis of the NYT article is on what a person without student loans has to lose when he/she marries a person with student loans, and how the difference in partners’ student loan status can lead to break-ups.

    “[I]f [Mr. Kogler] moves to the United States permanently, he’ll probably lose the chance to run his family’s business in Austria. Supporting Ms. Tidwell as she begins
    to pay back her loans also means he doesn’t have the freedom to, say, make a career change that involves a big pay cut.”
    “[O]ne of [a financial planner’s] first suggestions was for them to make sure that Mr. Kogler did not have to make all the compromises when they prepared a joint household budget. “They can make some kind of sacrifice so that a goal of his is achieved, too,” she said.”
    “But Ms. Reach Winters said that if she were representing someone like Ms. Tidwell’s boyfriend in a divorce, she would argue that he deserved a sort of refund for everything he paid toward household expenses even if Ms. Tidwell were making the loan payments out of her salary alone.”
    “In some ways, Mr. Kogler has it easy. There aren’t a lot of unemployed doctors. So he and Ms. Tidwell should be able to pay back her loans (albeit over 20 or 30 years) as long as they live relatively modestly. He might feel differently if he were dating a lawyer with similar debt but less certain prospects, or an X-ray technician who would really like to be a photographer.”

    Maya has personal experience seeing how the fact that one person has student loans and the other doesn’t can create long-term resentment and conflict, and the NYT article gives specific examples of what the person without student loans has to potentially sacrifice (such as the freedom to choose the career you love). I think Maya’s post is more about her believing that if she marries someone with student loans, she will be the one making a lot of sacrifices, which will (of course) lead to resentment and possibly divorce. It’s difficult to conclude that Maya sees people with student loans or people who don’t come from well-off families as beneath her.

    • Maya Kachroo-Levine

      You are exactly right. Thank you for reading the NYT article and drawing from specific examples. It is much more about potential animosity down the road and while that tension is by no means guaranteed, I have personal experience seeing it first hand. It’s something I grew up with. And while I completely see how it could be spun as seeing others as beneath me, that is not the case. However, i think my misstep here is that that is solely my opinion and how I feel (which is of course up for debate), as opposed to advice.

  • Alex Newton

    I have to agree with a lot of the sentiments already expressed. A student loan (when taken out appropriately) is an investment, which will have high returns in the future in the form of a higher salary. What makes this article particularly shocking is that the author would be okay with someone who had a car loan or credit card debt, since credit card debt is most certainly not any form of investment. To say that you would only marry someone if they had paid off their loans is almost offensive. The premise of this article, then, is that you would reap the higher salary benefits of a student loan investment by joining finances without having to partake in any of the “seed-sowing” that is a student loan. To be honest, as someone with student loans, I wouldn’t marry the author either because that sounds selfish and greedy.

  • SB

    One thing that I thought was interesting that wasn’t brought up is the notion of “your money” and “my money,” as in “If I was with someone who had debt, and we were planning to get married, we’d come to some arrangement where he would cover his student loans separately, from his own money.” If you’re planning a marriage and are still thinking of money in “yours vs mine” instead of “joint financial future” then sure, don’t get married. Even if you have separate accounts (which IMO, is just much less convenient than one pot!), it’s all about a shared future together. Maybe it’s easy to say because I had student loans AND I out-earned my husband, but honestly, it was never a thing. Partnership is nice, TBH.

  • Kaci

    As a long time reader, I am extremely disappointed in this post. So taking out student loans, a decision that will lead to higher salaries in my lifetime than I would make if I only had a high school diploma (I certainly would not have the decent paying position I have now without getting the bachelor’s that I took out student loans for), makes me unattractive to a potential husband? Anyone who cares at all about his finances should avoid me at all costs? Despite the fact that I have no other debt, own my car outright, have nearly a year’s salary in savings, a retirement account, and a Roth IRA.

    I’ve never made my student loans a secret to anyone I’ve dated, and
    fully intend to have a prenup stating that if divorced, I would be
    responsible for whatever amount is left. I would never, ever consider
    sticking an ex-spouse with half of my student loan debt. I made sure I have a job that pays the bills and loans each month, and allows for savings. Spouse or not, I want to know that I can stand financially on my own two feet. That’s been my life’s goal since I was a teenager.

    I come to this site almost daily for financial advice and what I felt, until today, were mostly well-written articles, not to be shamed for poor financial decisions and made to feel inferior because I have student loans. I have always felt that I’ve gotten good information from The Financial Diet, whether it was a more factual or an editorial post. However, this post has let me down. I’ve never read an article on this site and felt awful about myself afterward. I want to visit this site for advice and inspiration, not shame.

    It’s probably a good thing that my boyfriend has student loans too, as we wouldn’t have any appeal to someone who was fortunate enough to not have them. What a nice privilege it must be to not have any debt for getting an education. I don’t know if this site can be a regular read for me anymore.

  • Christin

    I have absolutly zero debt. Not a small student loan that some pretend doesn’t count. I paid off my car and credit card very quickly, because unlike student debt, the interest is obscene and not manageable. I married a man with almost $200,000 in student loans. Yes, in a few years he will have a salary that can pay it off relatively quickly and I will be there for every penny of it. I love him, trust him, and we are a team. If he were a different man, maybe it would have turned me off, but he is worth the investment.

  • Emma Rippon

    As a senior in high school heading off to college next year, this article really sank my heart. I’m going to incur some debt, but I’m also going to become a highly educated individual who hopes to one day support a family on more than minimum wage with my qualifications.

    To think now that someone might have the same attitude as you, Maya, and not want to marry me because I made a choice which I thought would put me in a better financial position one day is very disheartening. As an impressionable young adult, it takes a lot to have view points such as this presented to you and then dissociate and consider that I am doing the best I can and anyone who doesn’t want to marry me for that decision is not who I want to marry. This could really influence someone not to further their education and that’s upsetting.

  • hannah

    Really intrigued and disappointed in this article. I love stopping by the Financial Diet and reading articles because it relates to my interests but this article is very uneducating! Having a background in Economics it covers none of the real reasons why marrying into student loan debt can lead to an issue. It’s so sad to think that there are people out there who don’t educate themselves on debt in general, not just student loan debt. Check your facts! Get an understanding of the numbers behind student loans. I understand your reasoning but you have to remember people incur debt in other ways as well, which is almost worse than student loan debt. Federal student loan debts have significantly lower interest rates compared to credit card debt (average credit card interest rate is ~21%), which as we all know, paying just the minimum will really get you nowhere. Student loan payments also can be forgiven. In the end, debt is debt. It shouldn’t stop you from marrying into someone with STUDENT LOAN debt, you also have to consider how well your SO can manage their finances or how well he or she can save and invest. I have student loan debt and it is possible to save, spend and pay off more than your minimum student loan!

  • EDDUBOCE

    AKA if daddy didn’t pay for their education, they aren’t inheriting a lot of money, and I was meant to be borne into a life of wealth and privilege, so without an inheritance, no dice.

  • Just Joe

    Ultimately, it comes down to this, if your mommy and daddy paid for your college, then you’ll have more opportunities to sleep with amazing women like the author. Thanks Mom and Dad, you should’ve had better hindsight. I could’ve been happy with someone with an instagram account filled with serious looking selfies and then I get to hear about her day filled with all sorts of first world problems and the very long list of “crap that annoys her”.

    And of course, her lucky breaks while we laugh at the paupers still paying off their debt.

    #lifeisawesome follow me on Twitter and Instagram.

    (Actually, thanks Mom and Dad for making me unofficially barred from joining the trust fund baby brigade. I’ll never get to taste truly organic chamomile tea with notes of cardamom and orange peel.)

  • Sharon Coolidge

    i will like to talk about the goodness of God in my life, after so many months of trying to get a loan on the internet and was been scammed so many times, i became desperate in getting a loan from a legit lender online then i saw a comment from a friend called Fred Williams and he talked about this legit loan company where he got his loan fast and easy without any stress so he introduced me to a man called Mr Alfred Kessinger who controls a firm called Alfred Kessinger, So i applied for a loan sum of ($50,000.00) with an interest rate of 2%, so the loan was approved and deposited into my bank account that was how i was able to get my loan to keep my business running and also to pay off my bills so i am advising everyone of you who are interested in getting a loan to kindly contact them via email as Am.invest@hotmail.com to get any kind of loan you need today. God bless you all…

  • Lesley C

    I am currently living this nightmare, although I’m the person in the relationship with the debt. Living everyday with the reality that my life is completely stalled by the burden of my student debt is soul crushing. I don’t blame my partner for not wanting to get married and I was the one who had the realization that marriage with me would greatly impact him financially. Now all I can do is wait and hope that when my student loans are paid off that I won’t be so old that I cant even get pregnant. Never when I was 18 did I think my student loans were going to impact the trajectory of my life so much. I work in an highly needed field that required a lot of education but just doesn’t pay as much as one would think. My final thoughts after reading this is that I wish my parents were wealthy enough to pay for my college tuition and that people such as the author have no idea the guilt and distress carrying a massive student debt places on an individual. It is suffocating.

  • Zhivka

    ITT – classist chick fortunate to have parents cover the cost of her college dishes on the “audacity” of her for-the-time-being boyfriend to presume that they are in for the long haul, yet he is still paying dues to the Sallie Mae/Navient establishment.

    Losers among us who don’t make the cut for the unencumbered aristocracy they so desperately yearn for, subsequently dipping into the pool of indentured servants trying to pave their way to some semblance of freedom, and relegating them to placeholder relationships. Rich. I hope he dumps you, and soon.

  • Tom Leykis

    I find it fascinating that when a woman has (student) loans she can’t wait to get married so the man can pay off her bills, but when the man has loans she starts speaking about how marriage is a business deal.

    See, when a man asks his woman to sign a pre-nup because marriage is a business deal, she gets all huffy and puffy about how he’s a cheapskate, an unromantic brute, only thinks about money, doesn’t trust her and what not, but here the roles are reversed and somehow it’s acceptable.

    Let me tell you boys; there is NOTHING in it for a man to get married. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. You can already get everything from a woman without marrying her. You will actually get less of everything once you sign on the dotted line.

    Ask any married man how much sex, home-cooked meals and cleaning up he got before and after marriage and tell me you still want to get married.

  • Christopher Miles

    Good day to you all of you am Christopher Miles, I’m from USA, Texas,
    am very happy as am writing the testimony how i got my loan from this
    loan, i believe God has a plan for me, after i was been scammed of my
    money by many so called loan lenders, i was deceived and almost thought
    of taking my life, but God has a purpose for me, if you want to get a
    loan from any company you have to chose Mike Johnson Firm, when i was
    first started with him, thought he was like the rest, and to my Greatest
    surprise i got the loan of $69,000.00 in my account and that was the
    Exact amount i applied for in his company, and you that is feeling that
    there no hope for you? is a lie because if you interested in getting any
    type of loan, you can contact him via email, his email is:
    mikejohnsonfirm@yahoo.com, God Bless you like he blessed me with Mr Mike
    Johnson by getting my loan after been falling in the hands of scams.

    Thanks..
    Christopher Miles.

  • Louisa

    Hi everyone here. What Christine Coleman said is very true though i may not know her. I experienced it first hand also. It was this organization called fidelity loan Finance (f.l.f)that really helped me to pay my medical bills when i was in dare need of money because i am a widow. A friend of mine also directed me to them. when i was about to do a major operation and i had no money at that time, they came to my rescue and in less than 48 hours, i got my loan. But to say the truth, i was nervous and scared at first because i have been scammed twice. But when i summoned up courage and follow their lending policies along with my friends advice, at the end i found myself smiling. If not for them, maybe i would have been dead by now. I have even taken another loan from them start my business after my recovery which i am also paying back now. My only advice now is that any body who is really in need of loan should contact them with their email via, fidelityloanfinance(at)financier(dot)com and get a loan from them. Thanks.(Louisa)

  • kim

    everyone here. What Christine Coleman said is very true though i may not know her. I experienced it first hand also. It was this organization called fidelity loan Finance (f.l.f)that really helped me to pay my medical bills when i was in dare need of money because i am a widow. A friend of mine also directed me to them. when i was about to do a major operation and i had no money at that time, they came to my rescue and in less than 48 hours, i got my loan. But to say the truth, i was nervous and scared at first because i have been scammed twice. But when i summoned up courage and follow their lending policies along with my friends advice, at the end i found myself smiling. If not for them, maybe i would have been dead by now. I have even taken another loan from them start my business after my recovery which i am also paying back now. My only advice now is that any body who is really in need of loan should contact them with their email via, fidelityloanfinanc(at)Aol(dot)com and get a loan from them. Thanks

  • Hey Chelsea– shake off all the haters. It feels like people are lashing out at you possibly because they’re saddled with a ton of debt themselves? To be quite frank, taking out large amounts of debt to do anything is a bad idea. It is. I’ll say that as someone who is suffering the consequences now. My boyfriend does not want to get married until all of my debt is gone. I don’t blame him, but it SUCKS. Even without the possibility of a marriage in the near future, having the debt was a really bad idea. More people need to be like your parents and practice and teach constraint. Seriously.

  • Mark Perry

    Hello sir/Madam,

    I am Mr Mark Perry and i am a citizen of USA where my loan company is registered. Perfect Online Lendings is the right place where you can get your loan fast and easy. Contact us for financial assistance and we will take care of it with immediate alacrity.

    EMAIL:- perfectlendings@gmail.com

    Remain Blessed,
    Mr Mark Perry..

  • Jaffaar

    Ahoj,

    Ak máte plnú zhodu s úverom, pošlite nám svoju identifikačnú kartu na správne overenie.

    S pozdravom.
    Jaafar.