1. Offer to help them move, and actually follow through on it.
2. When you know they’re having a hard time (with work, or family, or whatever else) call them randomly just to ask them how they are, and listen to them while they vent.
3.When you go over to their house, bring a snack. (Okay, this may cost a few bucks, but that little four-dollar coffee cake will go a huge way to making them feel appreciated and loved.)
4. When they come to your house, have coffee or tea (whichever they drink) ready for them when they come in from the cold.
5. When you guys are going to order something to share at a restaurant (usually dessert in my case, but whatever), let them choose their favorite thing.
6. Tell them that you love them randomly. Tell them how glad you are to be their friend, and how awesome they are.
7. Make a concerted effort, when having a long talk, to really listen to what they’re saying. Don’t focus on the witty/relevant/juicy thing you have to say right after they finish, actually appreciate what they have to contribute to the conversation.
8. Offer to meet them at their house when you are going somewhere in their neighborhood, so that they get to enjoy the walk with you.
9. Let them pick the music in a car ride, and really be quiet and appreciate the song that they want to show you.
10. Send them emails during the work week, every now and then, with something really funny that you found.
11. When they do something kind for you, take the time to write them a handmade note, and send it to them in the mail. It will be a highlight of their week.
12. Give them compliments when they come to you. If you love the sweater they’re wearing, make sure to tell them.
13. If they recently shared some good news on Facebook, ask them about them it when you see them in person so they get to brag a little and feel good about themselves. Be supportive of their happiness and success.
14. If there is something they’re particularly sensitive about, try not to bring it up, even if it’s juicy and gossipy.
15. When they start rationalizing the food they are eating when out together (“Ugh, I shouldn’t be eating these fries, I’m trying to be good”) tell them that they’re beautiful, because they are.
16. Don’t post group photos where they look terrible, and certainly don’t tag them if you do.
17. If you’ve been separated for a while, tell them that you missed them.
18. Ask how their day went when you see them, and really let them answer.
19. Respond when they text you. And if you forget to, and they text you again the next day asking what happened, own it. Apologize for not remembering to text back, or having been in the middle of something else, and try not to do it again.
20. Call them back when they call you, even if you don’t love talking on the phone.
22. Remember that, like any other relationship, friendships are growing, living things that need to be nurtured and cared for. Never take a friend for granted, or treat them like they will always be there, because the only thing holding you together is the mutual joy and fulfillment that you receive from the relationship. Give as much as you receive, and be the kind of friend you want in your own life. They deserve it.
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