1. That brunch where I only ate the garnish off my Bloody Mary and wished I was at home binge-watching Roseanne on Netflix.
2. My subscription to Showtime that I never use, except once a year for new episodes of Shameless.
3. That brunch where I wanted something sweet and savory so I got the Belgian waffle and the breakfast nachos and hated myself for a week.
4. That dress from Forever 21 that has a cool pattern but a little too much fabric on one side and a weird asymmetrical zipper so it’s just been hanging in my closet staring at me for 2 years.
5. A plane ticket to visit that person whom I didn’t know very well and didn’t end up liking.
6. A German-engineered car that only lasted a year before dying quietly while I was away for Christmas.
7. All pants/jeans with a waist anywhere below my bellybutton.
8. That huge iced coffee from Starbucks that tasted a little sad.
9. Anything shiny from Target.
10. A festival ticket from a scalper who charged me double.
11. The sweater that I chose to buy in an off-white color even though it came in black.
12. That brunch where I got too drunk and ended up spending $70.
13. One more drink.
14. That non-dairy whipped cream from Whole Foods that needs to sit out of the fridge for 30 minutes before you can get anything out.
15. That Darth Vader Halloween costume that I thought was a great deal, but turned out to be a child’s size.
16. Spending $38 on two dishes of Thai food because fuck it, they’re the only place that delivers right now.
19. Music that I could have listened to/downloaded for free.
20. Every pair of tights that ripped after a single wear.
21. That 3-pack of rings from H&M that turn my fingers green.
22. An Uber when I could have walked
23. Those Chinese Laundry wedges that would go with every summer outfit if they didn’t shoot knives into my feet and make me think about all the bad things in the world.
24. That brunch where we waited for three hours to be seated, only to get an anxiety-high on coffee and stories about last night.
Theresa Healey writes the blog You Do The Math.
Image via Pexels
