The #TotalHonestyTuesday Roundup, Vol. 45

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Every week, we’re participating in #totalhonestytuesday, sharing the things we’d usually keep off of social media, and giving a little more insight into our real (and very un-perfect) lives. Hopefully, in doing this, we can all feel a little less pressure to appear a certain way online, and remember that everyone around us is much more than just the highlight reel we normally see.

You can consider this a delayed #totalhonestytuesday. So, I'm alive because of these cute lil' pills. Like, seriously. There's still such a stigma to mental health – especially talking about things like medication. Why? Why is it socially acceptable for someone to talk about being super hungover, but it's shame-y to discuss anti-depressants (or other mental health medications)? I don't get it. I feel lucky that I was raised by a psychology professor and human development major, so this kind of shit was always normalized. Asking for help was never taboo. It was encouraged. I was fourteen when I started antidepressants. I did it for anxiety and other health problems, but found it helped me in numerous ways. Fast forward to being 18 and MASSIVELY IN LOVE, I abruptly went off my medication. I thought, well, I'm happy and in love so I don't *need* this anymore. So I stopped. And SHOCKER, guess what happened? I became massively depressed again. It took a long time to come to terms with my brain being wired differently. And because of that, it requires different things. It needs a little extra help. Are there issues with medication and the RX industry? Absolutely. But to shame someone for taking something that keeps them alive is about as fucked up as it gets. You can't pray away depression. You can't think positively and magically fix the chemical imbalance in your brain. Like, ok, I'll just pray your broken neck heals without any medical intervention. That cool? If you struggle, there should be no shame in needing medication. I know, without a doubt, I'm still here because of Zoloft. Here's to you, Zoloft. You my ride or die (because without you…yikes) ❤️❤️❤️❤️

A photo posted by Ari [B]eastman (@arieastman) on

no filter can soften this bit of vending machine shame. #totalhonestytuesday #nofilter

A photo posted by angie hobaugh (@angiehobaugh) on

The #Rockies sure are magestic. Even from a plane… I am terrified of flying. Like, clinically so. The anticipatory anxiety from thinking about flying is enough to make me sick with panic. This is totally contradictory with my wanderlust and desire to see the world, I know. I had previously conquered my fear and managed to fly out to Hawaii (over the ocean and everything!) And was happily planning a trip to the Netherlands for work. However, the panic has stricken me again and I fear that I'm not going to be able to fly again for a long time. My desire to travel started when my dad passed away. I was faced with my father's regrets as well as my own insecurities. I thought that one solution to some of my struggles was to post happy pictures in cool locations to prove that I was okay and not struggling. The epitome of any American's wanderlust is to be swept away by the beauty and culture of Europe. Which was within my grasp. I felt like I needed to go to Europe to somehow validate my existence and happiness on social media. Which is silly. Especially for someone with aviophobia. Going to Europe doesn't validate my existence. It doesn't ease the pain of my father's passing. Going to Europe doesn't make me a better person, and not going doesn't make me a worse person. Perhaps I will go eventually. By plane or by boat, I don't know. But my happiness doesn't depend on it. And I'm glad I finally realized that. #travel #flying #fear #wander #traveling #wanderlust #mountains #snow #snowcapped #airplane #viewfromairplane #rockymountains #fearofflying #aviophobia #tht #totalhonestytuesday

A photo posted by Tayler Hill (@taydelanie) on

Share your own honesty next week, and join the conversation.

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