The #TotalHonestyTuesday Roundup, Vol.58

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Every week, we’re participating in #totalhonestytuesday, sharing the things we’d usually keep off of social media, and giving a little more insight into our real (and very un-perfect) lives. Hopefully, in doing this, we can all feel a little less pressure to appear a certain way online, and remember that everyone around us is much more than just the highlight reel we normally see.

#totalhonestytuesday Chairdrobe My life is messy. My life is also kind of amazing. I feel like I'm a nutcase and that I keep doing things but getting nowhere. With three panic attacks in less than 24 hours because I can't find the headspace to switch from work to school and back to work, when I'm doing the things that matter to me. I feel stuck. I feel immobile. I can't distinguish between my expectations and the expectations set by others that I choose to adopt as my own. They say be careful what you wish for, they say that you get what you need, they say a lot of things. Instead of complaining about all the work I have to do, why don't I just do the work? Because that's how my anxiety works: I'm frozen because I can't do all the things I want to do. And i know I'm not alone. And I'm scared to share this because I know perceptions will be affected. And I'm scared that this won't help me cross off my to-dos. And I'm scared that I'll always have anxiety by my side when I am confronted by similar moments like these in the future. These past few days, I haven't accepted my anxiety. So she just rambles on until she can't. But this is what is behind my best days. This is something I have to understand. Or at least, allow. My own tortured process. Thanks to all those around me who hold me up, and give me encouragement, and tell me I'll get through it and that it'll all be okay. I repeat those words emptily, but I have faith in that which is behind your words.

A photo posted by P.V (@priyankina) on

Share your own honesty next week, and join the conversation.

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